We actually get on really well, but when we fight, it's usually because she is being cheeky with the demanding, toss the hair thing going on, and I put up with it til I can put up no longer. Then I usually yell at her and she storms off in a huff, until I calm the waves by hugging or tickling her and all is well again.
She is a born organiser, and a leader which are great attributes to have, and I am so proud of her for being strong. But she likes to rule the other kids too and this I don't like. It's all dramatic and loud, and somedays it drives me crazy. But as a mother, it's my job to stay calm, to address her attitude with a motherly demeanor and not yell. I am working on this, some days I do it well, other days I completely fuck it up.
I am to blame somewhat because as the eldest child, I expect alot from her, and I sometimes forget that she is only 8. She is so helpful, smart and wonderful, and I rely on her to help me with the two younger kids occasionally and I think this crosses over to her wanting to be the boss. And this makes me sad, that the fine line between the two is easily confused.
I had waited to have a child for so long, and I had dreamed about the baby I would have. When I first saw her, after 25 hours of labour, I remember staring at her lips, the cupids bow so beautiful and her eyes which were exactly like her daddy's. I was in shock that she was so gorgeous and that I had made her and that she was mine. Forget the next 3 months of hell!! with reflux and not sleeping, that moment I will never forget.
So to my darling big girl, I love you, and I am sorry that we fight sometimes, but you will always be my first special baby. You made me a mother.
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