Being a Mother is a tough gig.
But you knew that already, right?
When I held my first beautiful baby in my arms, after 25 hours of non blissful labour, and as I stared at this most perfect child.....little did I realise that Motherhood was going to be alot tougher than those 25 hours.
I had two more babies, because the part of my brain that tells me that it hurts for 18 years or more was obviously switched off at the time.
And that's fine, because I wouldn't have it any other way.
My kids, my life. That's what it is.
Little did I know that these three little babies, all born 2 years apart, would embarass me in Bunnings, every single time.
Did I know that there would be nights when I'd arrive home from work late and tired and I'd have this:
Did I realise how much my heart would hurt if one of them were in pain?
How could I have known the direct, invisible, powerful force connecting me to them? An invisible umbilical cord that my heart sees when I look at them.
I just didn't know. You don't know until you are a parent and you would give your life for your child.
As mothers, we struggle through the difficult times, kissing our babies when they sleep and promising to do better tommorrow.
That's me, anyway.
I try to be perfect, but I'm not.
Motherguilt is a part of me, unfortunately.
It makes me try harder the next day. Because it's such a huge responsibility.
I try not to compare myself with other mothers anymore because behind the scenes I bet they are having their own bedtime/bathtime/dinnertime battles of their own.
Thank God for social media where we can post on forums asking for advice from other frazzled mums, who also think their kids are out to get them.
Today I found out that one of the Nintendo DS games that we hired from the dvd shop is missing. The kids don't seem too concerned that I'll have to pay the replacement cost.
We have looked everywhere and the minute one of them said to me "oh well, we'll just have to hire another one", I cracked.
I've confiscated their game consoles, and my daughters Ipod, and I've made them fold all of the clothes, wash up, and tidy the bedroom.
On a Sunday. Their day of rest, or so they tell me.
I've also told them that I had to pay $80.00 (not $35.50) to the dvd shop, just trying to squeeze a little bit of remorse from them.
So far, I haven't seen any. I guess I've failed in teaching them the value of things.
At least, I have something to work on....