March 4, 2012

Mothering Thoughts

Being a Mother is a tough gig.

But you knew that already, right?

When I held my first beautiful baby in my arms, after 25 hours of non blissful labour, and as I stared at this most perfect child.....little did I realise that Motherhood was going to be alot tougher than those 25 hours.

I had two more babies, because the part of my brain that tells me that it hurts for 18 years or more was obviously switched off at the time.

And that's fine, because I wouldn't have it any other way.

My kids, my life.  That's what it is.

Little did I know that these three little babies, all born 2 years apart, would embarass me in Bunnings, every single time.

Did I know that there would be nights when I'd arrive home from work late and tired and I'd have this:

Did I realise how much my heart would hurt if one of them were in pain?

How could I have known the direct, invisible, powerful force connecting me to them?  An invisible umbilical cord that my heart sees when I look at them.

I just didn't know.  You don't know until you are a parent and you would give your life for your child.

As mothers, we struggle through the difficult times, kissing our babies when they sleep and promising to do better tommorrow.

That's me, anyway.

I try to be perfect, but I'm not. 

Motherguilt is a part of me, unfortunately.

It makes me try harder the next day.  Because it's such a huge responsibility.

And honour.

I try not to compare myself with other mothers anymore because behind the scenes I bet they are having their own bedtime/bathtime/dinnertime battles of their own.

Thank God for social media where we can post on forums asking for advice from other frazzled mums, who also think their kids are out to get them.

Today I found out that one of the Nintendo DS games that we hired from the dvd shop is missing. The kids don't seem too concerned that I'll have to pay the replacement cost.

We have looked everywhere and the minute one of them said to me "oh well, we'll just have to hire another one", I cracked.

I've confiscated their game consoles, and my daughters Ipod, and I've made them fold all of the clothes, wash up, and tidy the bedroom.

On a Sunday. Their day of rest, or so they tell me.

I've also told them that I had to pay $80.00 (not $35.50) to the dvd shop, just trying to squeeze a little bit of remorse from them.

So far, I haven't seen any. I guess I've failed in teaching them the value of things.

At least, I have something to work on....


My weight loss journey said...

Loved this. Thanks! Feel all the same things...and also have so much to work on including teaching my daughter the value of do we do that, exactly?

Farmers Wifey said...

I really don't know how we do it all, and excel at is really a work in progress, isn't it xx

Dreaming said...

I enjoyed your post.... you echo many mother's sentiments. Raising kids is tough and the years go by too quickly for us to teach them everything - well, and they don't always 'learn' or listen to our lessons, do they?!

Farmers Wifey said...

Everytime they finally "get" something, there is always the next lesson to be learned xx

Karla {Ironmum Karla} said...

It is the hardest gig on the planet, and quite often wonder why the world keeps procreating at times.. But us mums grow thick skins. At least you have planted a seed, it will sink in...

Unknown said...

All of the parenting books said the first 6 weeks were the toughest. They failed to mention toilet training and four year old girl tantrums! I know there's worse to come.

Comparison is useless but imploring for a kind ear to your own situation is the lucky bonus we have as mothers of the 21st century with the modern wonders of blogs and social media.

That said, Gin (and other refreshments) are still this mother's little helpers (sometimes) :-)

Foursons said...

Yup, parenting is definitely something you don't understand until you are one yourself.

As far as the lost game- maybe taking the $80 out of their piggy banks will help drive the point home.

Farmers Wifey said...

@ Karla doesn't Motherhood make us stronger women, incredibly so x

@ Di-licious The first 6 weeks were definately the hardest, and going from no babies to one...the toughest.... x

@ Foursons I'm sure we will now find the missing game, because I've paid for it!! Murphys Law!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this post and helping us mum's realise that every mother has bad times and doubts. We try to do our best but sometimes our best just doesn't seem good enough....but I suppose it is?

Farmers Wifey said...

I think at least our kids think we are the best...even though at times we don't believe it to be true xx

River said...

Tell the kids that the $80 will be deducted from their pocket money, or something similar. Find the thing that will hurt them the hardest and use it. Like no more dvd hires this month or whatever.
I never got "motherguilt". I did the best I could, the best way I knew how and left it at that. The kids turned out fine and they all still love me as I love them.

Norlin said...

Yes, motherhood is such a hard gig, I hear you. But like you..knowing so..did it three times with three kids! Sucker for punishment I tell you. But like you also, there are the nice parts that I do enjoy, like when you know they are the ones who truly love you unconditionally, regardless of how shitty a mother we sometimes think we are. :)

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

So so true! Just when you think you're winning they knock you back down again! Then we get up and try even harder. I think the hardest things are to get them to realize the value of things, I just keep plugging away hoping someday it will penetrate!
Keep up the fabulous parenting job you're doing!

Farmers Wifey said...

Aww you guys x See social media and blogging bringing us all together xx

Anonymous said...

I reckon every parent goes through times like these, some more than others. I wouldn't dare hire anything for this house because I would guarantee it wouldn't last five minutes!

CJ x

Farmers Wifey said...

CJ we are not hiring any more, that's for sure :)

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