How do you spell CRANKY?

Tired, emotional, cranky, overwhelmed.

No, these are not describing words on my son's spelling list, but rather the sway in my moods this past week.

Try putting those words into sentences -

The mummy was tired from too many late nights.

The mummy felt emotional at the thought of leaving her little babies for two weeks.

The mummy was very cranky because she had PMS.

The mummy was feeling overwhelmed at everything she needed to do before her big trip to America.

It's hard work getting ready to be away from the family for 2 weeks, and although it's not a long time there are certain things that only I can do (cut tablets into quarters, pack three lunchboxes in 6 minutes, braid long hair for school, find matching football socks).

The Hubbster is very self reliant, and I have no doubt the kids will be fed, bathed and taken care of with plenty of Bunnings sausage sizzles thrown in, but I'm not sure about the school socks situation because those things just disappear into some weird twilight zone, so if you see my kids with unmatched socks, well he's doing the best that he can under the circumstances.

I've also had to work longer hours to make sure all is in order there, plus drive the kids to the usual sports and dancing.  And of course, Miss D (aged 12) is singing, dancing and acting in this, on the four nights just before I fly out on Monday, so it's been rehearsal aplenty!

So all of this means I haven't really sat down and thought about what I'm doing next week. It's true I bought my ticket to Blogher13 last October, but you know how time ticks on, and suddenly you're at the starting gate ready to go....but you're really not ready?  Does that make sense?

I've had 16 years to think about America, to daydream about going back, and now I'm so close, it's almost surreal. I still can't believe that I'll have two weeks just for me.  I wish my family were coming with me, what an amazing experience for the kids!  I'll probably cry alot, from missing them to just being in awe of everything.

So this week, I've decided to calm down, regroup, and really think about what I'm doing, because I've waited a long time for this.  I'm so excited, so prepare yourself for photos of one very happy Aussie!

Here's one of me from the last time I was in America, impersonating the Governor of Tennessee.  As one does.

Red, White and Blue

 

 

17 days.

How did that happen. 

17 days and it's wheels up and I"m heading to the U S of A!

I"m off to Blogher13 and I'm excited and overwhelmed, I haven't packed and I have a To Do list that doesn't seem to be getting any shorter.

I can hardly believe that I'm going,   It's not just the conference that I'm excited about, but the whole experience of travelling,  and of visiting my beloved America again, after 16 long years.

My friends know that I'm obsessed by two things, the colour green, and America!  Not a day has gone by since the first time I visited this amazing country, that I haven't thought of, or been reminded of my first overseas holiday, all those years ago.

I was a wide eyed, twenty something, first time traveller, and I have such fond memories of the month I travelled through America.  My life changed after that, it really did, because I realised there was so much to see in the world, so many people to meet, and memories that will stay with me forever.

So now I'm going back.  I'm older now, and married with children. I'm still confident in what I'm doing, and it doesn't worry me that I'm going alone.

And that's the thing.  I won't be alone.  I"ve already connected with many bloggers online from America, Australia and a lovely girl from France (hi Jennie!).  As Virginia wrote today "we are hanging out now, we are socializing so we have a frame of reference when we meet in person.  We have icebreakers".

So when I arrive in Chicago, I'll have friends waiting for me, and it will be amazing. 

Happy 4th of July to my new friends, and to a country that holds my heart so dear.

Age.

Age.  A delicate topic in some circles I'd imagine.

And something to be embraced in others.

A few things have happened this week to make me want to write about age, my age specifically, and what it really means.

How old are you?

Are you in your twenties, or your mid thirties, or your fifties?

Or older?  I have some readers who are indeed older, like my dear friend Mimsie, who writes so beautifully, I'm enchanted every time I read.

A blogging friend, let's just call her the Divine Miss N, was recently turning 40, and she didn't quite know how to feel about reaching this milestone. This reminded me of when I turned 40, and refused to accept a party, or to even acknowledge my special day.

I still felt young, and I wasn't ready to reach the big 4 0, so maybe if I forgot about it, I'd wake up and still be 25, and my body would be the same! It took me months to come to terms with knowing that I wasn't going to be young forever and to just embrace it....which I did.

I've recently turned 46 and probably on the downhill slide to 50, but let's not go there.  Not yet. 

Yesterday, my daughter commented on the silvery lines across my belly, to which I replied "yes, I'm not surprised after carrying a small human inside my body....three times over".

Was it worth it? Absolutely every time.

And as the optometrist prescribed progressive lenses during my appointment yesterday (to cover my long distance eyeball defect AS WELL AS my old age can't read anything up close issue) I thought I'd done well to get to this age without needing them.

Age is just a number.  It doesn't matter what it says.  It's how you feel, and how you throw your arms around life and what it gives you.  We all have our milestones and goals to achieve, and if the best thing I've done in my life is become a mother to three beautiful and creative children, well, I'm content.

And more so when I get my glasses as I'll then be able to see!  Happy Days!