July 8, 2009

Writers Workshop

I really look forward to each weeks writers workshop, courtesy of Mama Kat. This week I have chosen:-

3) Describe a difficult moment that you survived. I have decided to write about a life changing moment for me, a difficult one, yes but one that defined me as a mother and who I identify with today. The birth of my first child.

I have always wanted to be a mother, and I waited so long. I was in my early 30's when I found out I was pregnant, after only a couple of months of trying. My pregnancy was uneventful and each day I still couldn't believe the one thing I had always wanted, was soon about to come true.

The time came for us to meet our first baby. It was a Thursday and The Hubbster had gone for a few drinks to send off a workmate. I joked about not going too far as this baby was due. My mum was staying with us to help out after the baby was born. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, something that we decided on with all of our children.

The Hubbster arrived home around ten minutes to midnight, with several celebrationary drinks under his belt and a warm comfy bed waiting for him. He climbed into bed and within 5 minutes my waters broke.

"Umm we have to go to hospital, my waters broke"

"Are you freakin kidding me??"

"Nope, get up". We rang the hospital who advised us to come in, even though I wasn't having any pains, which was the worse thing we did. Because we were still there 25 hours later. Yes folks I said 25 hours later. We woke mum and told her then we drove to the hospital, no wait I DROVE to the hospital because The Hubbster was quite drunk. So I drove. People kinda think this is funny. I didn't at the time.

The next few hours nothing happened. I was advised to stay put and not go home as it was my first baby and as my waters had already broken, it was better to be monitored. Well we walked and walked and walked, trying to get some action. No pains, nothing. We walked around the hospital several times, up and down flights of stairs, with The Hubbster taking photos of me "in labour". This is easy, I thought. I can't feel anything.

12 hours later, I was walking the coridors attached to a drip. I think we called him Sam, I really can't remember because I was really in labour. And it hurt. I showered with Sam. Sam and I watched The Hubbster eat my dinner, while I panted through another fucking contraction. And when I vomited Sam was there. More than once I remarked "you have got to be kidding me." A couple of times I thought "I will never get out of this", and only once I thought "I am never, ever doing this again".

I had no pain relief, I had decided that after my meeting with encephalitis when a child there was no way in hell I was letting a needle anywhere near my spine (after a bad experience with a lumbar puncture). So I opted for the gas only. Which as you mums know, only takes the edge of the pain and your hubby want to try it.

Many times I explained to The Hubbster to rub my back when a contraction hit, only to scream at him when he did. He took several magazines to read as we were in for the long haul and funnily enough commented when having baby 2 and 3 "wow I didn't even get to read my books this time". I think I slapped him there and then.

I remember looking out of the window at the rain, and by this time it was Friday night. I thought it was never going to end. The pain was unbearable, the contractions keep on coming and coming. Was there an end to it? The Hubbster said to me "this time tommorrow you will be back to normal, we will have our baby and the pain will be over. There IS an end to it, put the good yards in now, go for it. It won't be long and it will be over". As well as this helping me focus, I found it amusing that he likened the birthing of my child to some kind of sport. Most possibly football.

Nearly at the end now and I was focusing on each pain, looking at the pink and blue tags the nurse had ready. I will always remember this moment because I was so out of control of my situation, scared and in pain, but seeing those two baby tags gave me something to concentrate on. I breathed "it's nearly done, it's nearly done" over and over.

The hard yards were paying off, it was time to push. So with my legs on the nurses hips, I pushed for.... 2 hours. And to this day I can't understand why these nurses didn't move me or change my position. It was horrific, I was scared and tired and worn out.

At 1.24am, 25 hours after my waters broke, my darling baby girl arrived. I threw myself back on the bed and cried out and the nurses looked at me. They handed her to me and the first thing I noticed was her cupids bow lips and her eyes which were just like her daddys. I couldn't believe she was mine. I wondered if someone would come and take her away, it was surreal. Could I really be a mother?

This was the most difficult time, but I survived. The pain and the fear almost overwhelmed me. It's a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. It was scary because I couldn't go back, I could only move forward and at times I had no control. But the one thing that amazes me is that right after my daughters birth, I swore I could go through it all again, right there and then, because she was so worth it. And I meant it...


Kim Lehnhoff said...

I remember thinking that most babies come out this way, it can't be that bad...even when it felt that bad!

Jacquie said...

Wow. This was really moving! I always say I can't wait for my first but then I hear people talk about how the first is the worst. I still can't wait though. It is obviously all worth it so much!

Visiting from Mama Kats

Melissa @ The Best Nest said...

Ohhh snap, but not quite. Mine was 18 hours and damn, disn't it just feel like you had run a marathon then gotten hit by a truck? Glad to hear you vomited too, so many people don't - I take that as a sign that our pain was SO much greater lol!

Doodles said...

I love your post... I was in labor with my second (hard labor every 5 mins) for 3 wks yes 3 wks because at the time she would have been 6 wks early and she was handling the contractions well they were monitoring me daily as I didn't want to be in the hospital. I also don't progress so we knew I wouldn't deliver her at home I had to go in for the c-section but I can just remember thinking since I have to be in labor this long can't I have something for the pain.

And now I would love to have one more after vowing to the point of having hubby get a snipped. I would never ever want to do that again as 3wks of labor was possible again.

Domestic Diva's Corner said...

great post have a great day

K said...

I loved reading this story about the birth of your daughter. It's amazing how every mom's birth story is unique in the little details yet similar in the journey through bringing a new child into the world. I agree, I too could go through it all again to have another child. After our 2nd was born and before we had even left the hospital I told my husband I hope we can have one more!

My weight loss journey said...

It is amazing that we can go through something so painful and as soon as the pain ends....we can do it again.
I will not have another child, but if I was younger I'd have 5 more...even though my labor/delivery were everything I didn't want it to be.....you've inspired me to write about my experience...my next post. :)

Curious said...

Great post! Brings me back to the labor fun with my kids.
I hope you make your daughter read this :)

Unknown said...

Oh my. That scares me a little. But also makes me smile. I love farmers.

Foursons said...

Child birth is no joke that's for sure! Glad you made it through and weren't so traumitized that you never tried again.

Charlene said...

When I think about having kids, I always think that I want to do it without drugs. I can't say that I would actually do it when it came down to it, but I've always said I would.

Visiting from Mama Kat's.

Erin said...

I was born at 1:24am too! Although my mom was sleeping and they had to wake her up to tell her it was time to push and she was like no I'm sleeping! LOL

What a great story!

Kristen said...

Wow. Is this the same child you posted about just above?
I knew a girl that had to rive herself to the hospital for two births because her husband was drunk. Yep...he was a keeper.

Superstar said...

Oh girl!
I can't imagine.
my sister was in labour with my firet niece for THREE days. She was on the patosen(sp) drip...nothing would make that kid come out!
OK the fact you had to drive is really funny...I can just see you yelling at him while driving. His hands over his head, shaking while saying, I'm so sorry honey...I know, I know, I know....

Grammy Suzzy said...

I had six babies...5 without pain relief...and the last with. I HIGHLY recommend epidurals!!! It is very nice, though, to get such a wonderful prize for all that pain,isn't it?

Claudya Martinez said...

You made me cry. This was beautifully written.

I only have one daughter and I was never sure that I would even have kids. My pregnancy and birthing were excruciating and seemed endless. Before my daughter was born I was sure I would never want to do it again and now my daughter is 10 months old and I'm more than willing to do it again even if it's as awful as it was the first time.

You did good!

kisatrtle said...

very nicely written. I loved the part about your hubby wanting to try the gas

Unknown said...

We had been trying for 14 years when we finally got lucky and had the Son. The one thing i remember from the wait with our ob/gyn was his remark that he could tell if a marriage was going to last based on the husband/wife interaction during the first labor, especially if it was a long one (ours went 36 hours and we had even walked to the hospital to try and speed it up).

Sounds like you and hubby passed the test. {*grin*}

helloally said...

i did the gas for no1...i was given gas + pethidine for no2 so for no3 when the midwife asked me if i was practicing natural pain monitoring i said are you fkng serious no fway then i calmly asked for 2 pethidine shots right here and i pointed to my thigh! which she consented to a short time later yayyyyyyy ... p e t h i d i n e mmmmmmm LOLOL