Tonight we watched our favourite tv show "Modern Family".
It's the only one the five of us sit and watch together. It's not rated M, well most of the time anyway, and it has The Hubbster in fits of laughter every week.
The episode tonight proved again how much The Hubbster and I are like Phil and Claire.
Well besides the fact that I'm not blonde and The Hubbster doesn't sell real estate, I can see similarities between us that seem to be so true.
Tonights show emphasised the roles Phil and Claire portray - Phil being the fun, calm parent, and Clare the control freak, disciplinarian in their family.
They decided to change roles - Claire took her son and his cousin go karting, trying to be the "fun" parent, and Phil stayed home to discipline his wayward girls by overseeing the cleaning of the bathrooms.
It didn't work.
It wasn't what they were meant to do. They fit their roles perfectly, and although at times their family seems dysfunctional, it is what works for them.
I know it is a fictional television show, but I hope you understand what I mean.
In our family, The Hubbster is the fun parent. He's very calm, very patient, spends the time explaining things to the kids, takes them to Bunnings (all the time), plays tennis with them, buys them lunch and takes them to the park.
When he needs to be stern, the kids listen. They jump. They do exactly as they are told.
He's in control without being seen as being mean.
He's quite awesome actually.
I, on the other hand, get stressed and yells, worries about everything, is a control freak disciplinarian, freaks out when things are messy, and generally is not very well behaved.
I'm usually not calm, I'm working on my patience, I spend time with the kids at the park, the beach or McDonalds, I play handball and stuck in the mud and wrestle on the bed with them.
But I think the kids see me as the fun police. The mean one. The one who gives orders and bosses them around. I probably ask the same as The Hubbster does, but the kids see me differently.
They don't listen, until I yell. Then I'm being mean and cranky.
The Hubbster doesnt' yell. But they still listen.
Yesterday, the kids were in the pool and I said "hey kids look at the plane" but they didn't acknowledge me. I said it again, and still no answer.
Then I said "who wants some ice cream", and they all swung around in surprise.
Selective hearing perhaps?
Just blocking out what they don't want to hear (me being bossy and giving orders).
This is where my frustration comes from. I hate being bossy and feeling like THEY think I'm no fun. I wish everything would run smoothly and I wasn't such a stressful person...I'm working on that.
The most fun I have with the kids is when we go to the park and buy fish and chips for lunch, and sit in our favourite grassy spot on the hill by the beach. We usually do this when The Hubbster is at work, so it's just the kids and I.
They love this. They love the attention from me, and the time I am spending with them. It's when I'm being "fun".
I love taking them out on their individual "dates" where we go to the movies or shopping and it's quality one on one time.
I want more of this.
I have to let go of the control and realise that my children are little individuals that won't always conform to what I want.
The saying "don't sweat the small stuff" is something I'm trying to work towards.
Let it go, Michelle....just let it go.....