Perfectly describing my character and my mood at the moment.
We are so close to finishing the house, but being so close feels like I am still a lifetime away.
Does that make sense?
I can only describe it as a scene in a horror movie (and we've had a few of those while owner building) - the main character is trying to get to a destination, a door to freedom perhaps, or a safe passage.
The more they fight and claw their way there, the more the glistening prize moves back. It literally moves away. The more they fight, the harder it is.
This is how I feel at the moment.
I'm in waist deep thick black sludge, fighting and pushing to get to my goal, and the more I push, the further away it goes.
A tad dramatic maybe, but after nearly 4 years of waiting.....I seriously want my house!
We are finishing off now, the electricial, the plumbing and the floors. The Hubbster has been working very hard on his days off.
He has a job as well as the farm to take care of. There are only so many hours in the day. And dollars in the bank!
I feel very unorganised right now.
I want things in their place.
I want to decorate my home and cook delicious meals in our new kitchen for my patient family.
I can't believe how little the children were when we moved here. They were 3, 5 and 7.
They are ready for their own rooms, their own space.
The 5 of us sleep in the same room and they are over it as much as I am.
We haven't had a Christmas Tree in 4 years...I refused to put one in the shed because it was never meant to be permanent.
The kids have toys in storage they have forgotten about.
I have no idea where my slow cooker is.
We eat in the same shed as our paint tins and our tractor.
I don't even jump anymore when I see a snake.
THIS is my reality.
I have surprised myself how well I have coped with all of this, and we have had some memorable times in the shed, that has brought us closer together as a family.
But enough is enough.
The bedroom air conditioner has stopped working.
There is a hole in the floor of the shower. We can see the water running onto the grass on the outside.
I don't want to take an umbrella to the toilet when it rains.
Reality, people, reality.
The hard yards are done....
Last night, The Hubbster turned on all of the verandah lights. The house looked so beautiful bathed in the soft, creamy light.
It gave us inspiration to keep going...to keep pushing forward to reach our goal.
Stay with me..there's not long to go now x