December 14, 2009

She's not coming home

It is with a heavy heart and an overwhelming sadness that I now realise that Toto is possibly not coming home. I have cried all day, wishing that the Christmas Miracle would arrive here for us.

She should be home by now. Something has happened. We think she may have started her run, only to perhaps have a heart attack and pass away - as her heart was dodgy and as the vet said over 2 years ago "I can't believe this dog is still alive with a heart like that".

That's what I need to believe. I hope it happened Friday evening, and that she didn't suffer in the hot sun all day yesterday without any water. Fuck, I can't even contemplate that. Please God, I hope she didn't suffer.

She could be anywhere on our property, all 75 acres with alot of long grass. We will never find her, it will be a miracle if we do.

7 comments:

Just Add Walter said...

oh honey... I can't even imagine how terrible this is.... I'm sending prayers your way!

Erin said...

OH NO!!!! I feel you, I lost my kittie over a year ago, I hope the Christmas miracle still comes through!!
Keep your chin up!

Organic Meatbag said...

You know how much I love my beagle too, so this breaks my heart so much...I am so sorry, dear...I know it seems hopeless, but there still may be a chance that she's out there... just hope against hopelessness...

Foursons said...

Oh no...I'm soooo sorry! I hope you are able to find her and bury her. I'm so sad for you. :(

prashant said...

I hope the Christmas miracle still comes through!!

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Allegra Posts for Rose said...

I'm so, so sorry. My neighbor had a Boston Terrier that disappeared on December 5 and she is distraught. I can't imagine what I would do if I lost another dog. It is heart-breaking, especially when we bring them in as family members.

I too hope there is a miracle for you and for my neighbor Bonnie Le.

Sending positive energy your way.

JonathanLH64 said...

I share your sorrow, Michele. I know I said that on facebook, but I read the details here and simply, I share your grief. Sorry it took so long to catch up, but I've been thinking about this for several days.

I really believe that Toto was watched the whole way by whatever power in the universe it is that protects our beloved pets.