December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

The presents are wrapped. The shopping is done. The kids are in bed and the cake and milk is waiting for Santa.

I have some time to reflect on the past year, the good and the bad, the sadness and the pain and the amazing times we have had.

I always feel very mellow and dreamy on Christmas Eve. It's another year over, and especially this year, I wonder where the time has gone. Wasn't it just yesterday my baby started Prep, I started my new job....and we hoped to be closer to moving into our new home.

It's been a busy year. I did start my new job, the kids all had a place at school in Prep, Grade 2 and Grade 4, we worked on the house, but didn't move in, the girls were busy with dancing, Mr C played football, I got pregnant and lost my baby.......I'll just take a moment.....

This last event pretty much ruined the year, I lost enthusiasm for a lot of things....I am sure I have had what is known as situational depression.

I should be exactly 32 weeks pregnant tonight..but I'm not...and it hurts.....

But I move forward as I always have...I am so blessed to have The Hubbster, my 3 amazing, beautiful healthy children, a wonderful place to live, friends and family who are awesome...shall I go on??

I have so much that I want to do next year..but that's another post.

I find it hard to put into words how I feel tonight. So I'll just let John do it for me.......



6 comments:

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Big hugs to you. It's been a roller coaster of a year for me, too, and I was just saying that I'll be relieved to welcome in 2011.

Enjoy your Christmas with your lovely family.
CJ xx

Mr. Condescending said...

most appropriate song ever to put in this post, hope you're ok and merry xmas to you and your family!

Just keep chugging away everything'll be alright.

Dreaming said...

I agree about Christmas being a time of reflection. I think for me it's because time seems to slow for a day - stores are closed, normal routines are dispensed with, etc.
Losing a pregnancy is very rough, indeed. Women who have not experienced it have a hard time understanding the impact of the loss, the changes in hormones and that emotional roller coaster. It does get better with time but, at least for me, is never forgotten. There are times where I will think back to being pregnant at a certain time, or think that if the pregnancy had continued, the baby would be x years old. Hopefully as time goes on the hurt will diminish for you.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year.

Olive said...

Please God, Bless this beautiful family.
May the year 2011 bring you all that your hearts desire.

helloally said...

awwww ... i lubs ya ... lots of huggies from me ..fellow floodbound hehe ...
next yr is the one luvly!
<3 xx

Kellyansapansa said...

Big hugs and best wishes for a truly rewarding 2011. xx