Toto is not well

I'm feeling a bit sick about this right now. It may be time to say goodbye to our beagle Toto. You may remember we lost her sister Girlie back in April. It was heartbreaking and you can read about it Here.

Toto will be 15 years old in November. She is actually quite happy, or so it seems, she can't tell me if she is in pain because I don't speak dog. We have been letting her off the lead each afternoon (which is very unusual for a beagle because they are not known for sticking around!) and she wanders around with the kids and often runs into the paddock and chases rabbits and kangaroos. Which is where she is now.

She is having the time of her life at the end of her life. So why am I even debating this with myself?

Because she is peeing blood. A few drops here and there, but tonight she was squatting on the grass and I saw a few drops of blood and not much else. She obviously has a big problem and she can't tell me, but this is not right. This is serious. I don't know what to do. The Hubbster is going away for 2 days and I know if I take her to the vet, he will say it's time. But I HAVE to take her, she could be in pain and not be able to tell me.

And I can't get my head around the fact that she is running around chasing wildlife as I type this and I am thinking of ending her life. I hate to say this but this is fucked. I hate this decision. She's my little dog. She's smart. She's trusting. She still eats her dinner and gets around.

She lays in the sunshine during the day, blissfully unaware of what I am thinking. She loves the kids, they rub her belly and she is in heaven. She comes back from chasing rabbits and is so tired she can hardly keep her eyes open.

I know this time would come, but to lose both of them so close together is really upseting. I can't imagine life without my beagles.


(We have a vet appointment at 9.30am tommorrow, we will see what happens then.)