Writer's Workshop

Today I'm participating in Mama Kat's pretty much world famous Writer's Workshop.

I've chosen prompt number 1.. Compile and share a list of your favourite tweets..

I've chosen my own. As one does....

Can't get 20 votes to get to 25...I'm freakin' 26...(In reference to a Top 25 Funny Moms comp where I was beaten by that much this week)

Grovelling for votes (see stupid above)

Skyline film = poor mans Cloverfield.

Made the ultimate mummy sacrifice and took my daughter to the school disco instead of watching Greys Anatomy..oh the humanity...

Just vacumned the shed.

Over to Moira (in reference to an annoying tv host)

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....(don't look at me, I have no idea what this means?)

Had 4 baby guinea fowl escape from Alcatraz this morning, dug out of the cage. I'm calling one Clint Eastwood.

Post about cows. Only on Farmers Wifey.

Just looking at a picture of Brian McFadden pisses me off.

Gaga is a poor man's Madonna.

No bread here. I knew I should have asked for a breadmaker for Christmas.

I got a speeding ticket while 9 months pregnant and getting pizza.

Everytime I mention Justin Bieber my 5 year old blushes.

Santa underestimated the amount of wrapping paper needed and is compensating with computer paper.

We had a little spider and a frog in the shower, and my five yr old says wow we have wild animals in there.

Just bleached the kitchen.

I want my house finished so I can move out of the GODDAMN shed!

Goodness shoulder pads are in everyones closets. I'll send some of my mega 80's ones..

Just had a quite word to the post office lady, STOP BENDING MY FUCKING MAIL AND STUFFING IT IN THE POSTBOX. Now I have a bent calendar.

AHHHHHHHHH blardy husbands.

Holy crap.

Say effing what?

Gotta finish the housework so I can watch Dr Phil.

Impressed that son was dressed and ready for school at 6.30 am until I realised he's slept in his clothes.

Does wine help a sore throat?

I emptied the bins at work yesterday therefore I am the office bitch.

Over two years living in our shed while we build the house. Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Just told my daughter not to cry over spilt milk. I'll just cry over my freshly washed tablecloth.

I hate this working two days in a row crap. I like being lazy at home.

Wish I had Nanny McPhees stick.

Came to work today for a rest.

Cried at a kids movie, daughter just rolled her eyes at me.

Why do I stay up late and drink wine when I'm so tired and should go to bed?

My 7 year old son just said to me "I need a moment" WTF?

I'm a slave to social media.

Made cupcakes with the kids, and now having a Mersyndol for the headache.

Just went walking with a friend in the rain and the mud..now my shoes are on the clothesline and I'm eating a muffin.

What's your favourite??

This ends tommorrow then I'll shut up

Here's another late night, last minute shameless plug to vote for me in the Top 25 Funny Moms. I'm holding up the rear..literally. But that's okay... I don't mind....as long as I'm in the list I can stop obsessing...and pimping my blog out for votes. I've even been bribing my facebook friends with witty posts I've written, hoping that they will actually find them funny which is the whole idea of the competition. Most of them think I actually have too much time on my hands. Nevermind that, Please click here. We'll discuss payment later.

Battle of the Blogger Butts Revisited

Sincere apologies for missing the link up last week. Naomi and I were eating chocolate mudcake at Ausblogcon2011.
By the look of this photo, it seems I couldnt get that cake in my mouth fast enough. It was delish.

We had a fabulous time...a buffet breakfast every morning, an amazing thai dinner Friday night and lunch and dinner at the conference..oh morning and afternoon teas as well.

The funny thing was though, I didn't eat alot. I was too excited to be at the Conference so my focus wasn't really on the food.

Except for that mudcake.

This week I weigh 67.8, so I've lost weight and left the 68's....slow...but steady.......

How was YOUR week?

Pimping for votes. Again.

I'm sitting on the fringe of the Top 25 Funny Moms, and as I'd love to be included in this list, I'm asking, begging, possibly pleading and pimping for votes.

You can vote every day. Just saying.

Voting ends next Monday 28th, so vote for me when you have your morning coffee and I'll be forever grateful. It would be my very first list.........

Please click here.You do think I'm funny don't you?

Or possibly desperate.

Planes, trains and taxis.

I'm back from Ausblogcon 2011. I arrived home at 9pm Tuesday night after catching 4 planes, 3 trains and 4 taxis, and am suitably exhausted hence the lateness in posting.

The great thing is that The Hubbster was totally organised, all of the washing was done, the kitchen was tidy, the clothes put away so there was nothing to worry about. I really appreciated this.

I had an amazing time at the Conference. What else can I say that hasn't been said here.

I didn't get to meet everyone, the day went so fast. I did however spend some time with some favourite bloggers.

The beautiful Kelly who I really connected with.

Cate who shared my love of sparkly dresses, here we are..

Kakka who has been a wonderful supporter of my blog...I was so happy to meet her..

Carly who channelled Carrie Bradshaw all night with the most amazing dancing skirt.....

And Naomi who was my roomie and shared the view of Sydney Harbour.....

The Conference has given me the inspiration to write, and to be creative in my small corner of the blogosphere.

I've also realised that I know nothing about Twitter and I NEED to get informed because Twitter is taking over the world.

Ausblogcon2011 UNDERWAY

Can't stop, conference underway.

I'm tweeting and facebooking live, will update my blog when I have time.

Met some amazing bloggers already who I kind of know, it's such a strange sensation to know them via their blogs but to meet them in person.....it's overwhelming.

Oh, we walked back to the hotel from the Nuffnang drinks last night through Kings Cross and encountered a pub fight and 3 prositutes.

Take me back to the country.....

One more sleep

One more sleep and my AusBlogCon experience begins.

For those of you who have been living under a rock or in a comotose state, tommorrow I'm off to Sydney for the very first Aussie Bloggers Conference.

I am so excited. I am also worried that I'm going to leave something at home.

It's been such a busy week. I've been in a rush, getting from home to work to kids activities, occasionally back to work, back home, and finally to bed.

I'm actually feeling quite exhausted and mentally drained.

I don't like feeling like this. Emotional and tired, and stressed, trying to get everything done. Making sure my work is up to date.

And the instructions are ready for The Hubbster while I'm gone.

For five days. I miss the kids already.

But once I get on that plane, I'll be fine.

I don't like being in such a rush. I feel quite displaced.

I plan to change that.

See you tommorrow in Sydney!

Please vote for me, someone thinks I'm funny

I am suitably impressed and appreciative that someone has nominated me in the Circle Of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms.



And I know I ask alot but would you please vote for me by clicking the purple circle above and finding Farmers Wifey and sparing a vote. Or two?

The best thing is you can vote everyday so umm, you know...could you??

The Joys of Motherhood

Whilst opening a very heavy envelope of Chocolate Drive money our office has collected, my lovely workmate hid this little note for me to find.

As I carried the coins to the bank to be exchanged for lighter notes, I thought about this note and how important it was.

I thought about how many other things I could add to the note, such as the Joy of hugging my children and the Joy they bring to me every day.

As Mothers, our lives are indeed full of these things on the note, the good and the bad, joining together to make us who we are.

I really identify with this. I waited for so long to have these things on the note (maybe not the head lice) because I wanted to be a Mother.

I always have.

And it brings me so much Joy.

Battle of the Blogger Butts Week 10

I was totally ready to use my free pass this week because of how unfocused I've been. I fully expected my weight to have increased through the roof because I have literally had NO TIME to even think about it. This week I've:-

Not had time for blogging

Worked 4 days

Work meetings

Right after work I've collected the kids from school and driven into town for dancing (three days) and football (one day).

See, I work alot, but I totally take my hat(s) off to full time working mums, you are amazing.

Arriving home some nights after 8pm.

Somehow managed to feed the family without giving in and buying takeaway.

Provided somewhat healthy (ish) lunchboxes for school.

Received some really bad news about my Nanna, which has resulted in the changing of my travel plans to enable me to visit my family after The Conference.

Trying to write up a check list for each day I'll be away at The Conference, so The Hubbster doesn't lose his mind while I'm gone.

Realised that I'll be gone for 5 DAYS, the longest I've been away from my babies. I miss them already.

Went shopping once to buy a new shirt and black pants so I look amazingly chic at the conference.

I'm yet to find the "right" white shirt.

Did lots of homework with the kids, which frankly annoys me. I hate homework, and because we have afterschool activities it stresses the kids out too.

Did you see exercise in the list above? No I didn't either. I know if I had time to exercise my weight loss would be quicker but I've decided to focus on The Conference and get back into it when I get home.

My weight loss chart looks like this:-

Start 70.5 kg
Week 1 69.7 kg
Week 2 69.9 kg
Week 3 69.3 kg
Week 4 69.9 kg
Week 5 70.3 kg
Week 6 70.1 kg
Week 7 68.7 kg
Week 8 68.6 kg
Week 9 68.9 kg
Week 10 68.6 kg

I'm not quite sure how I'm managed to lose weight this week. But I'll happily take it!

And I plan to enjoy myself next week at The Conference so I may be in need of that Free Pass afterall!

Cows With Guns

In keeping with the farm theme on my blog, I present Cows With Guns.

Enjoy.

I did.

Battle of the Blogger Butts Week 9

Farmers Wifey has been very naughty this week. We've had a birthday in the family and there's been a little too much chocolate cream cake eaten.

I just couldn't help myself. It was delish. I'm quite scared to weigh myself.

I can't seem to find that zest I had when I was into it, 3 years ago.

I can't get in the zone.

I remember perfectly how strong I felt. How motivated. I just had to start.

I lifted weights in front of the mirror at the gym, with rippling muscles (oh yes), a trim waist, and fire in my eyes.

I need to find that again.

Determination.

Because I know how powerful it made me feel.

Start 70.5 kg
Week 1 69.7 kg
Week 2 69.9 kg
Week 3 69.3 kg
Week 4 69.9 kg
Week 5 70.3 kg
Week 6 70.1 kg
Week 7 68.7 kg
Week 8 68.6 kg
Week 9 68.9 kg

Wifey FAQ

People often say to me "Farmers Wifey, you have such a great sense of humour. You're so funny" And I say "well if you lived in a shed you'd laugh (possibly manically) too.

BTW Long awaited House Update coming soon...stay tuned!

Anyway, I thought I'd bring you some Wifey FAQ's, a few resurrected from a previous post and some new delicious tidbits.....

So you're a Farmers Wife, does that mean you can drive a tractor?

Yes I can drive our tractor who we've called JAFFA because she's orange. I can also drive (ride) a motorbike, a go kart, a tennis racket and I drive The Hubbster crazy on a daily basis.

You've been living in your "temporary" shed for two and a half years. What's the worse thing about living in this situation?

How much time have do you have? It's a bit of a toss up between the frogs, the canetoads, the rain coming in, the dust, the dirt, having no storage, being cramped with 5 sleeping in the same room, a few snakes, spiders and mice occasionally, big storms and lightening strikes, a couple of cyclones, and having the house right next door and not finished.

Storage and space are a nightmare. We have no storage and not enough clothing space for the kids clothes which drives me to frustration most days.

And the best?

Becoming close as a family, the experiences and crazy situations we have found ourselves in and the excitement of seeing our dream home materialize before our eyes.

We have all learnt to sacrifice, to go without the comforts that we have become used to, and just deal with what we have.

The kids can ride their bikes and scooters through the shed, we have a possum who we hand feed every night, and the beauty, and space and peace that we have here is unmeasureable. And our view of the mountains and water is breathtaking.

You like your bling, what do you have?

I only wear gold and white gold, and just because I feed the chooks and chase guinea fowl doesn't mean I can't look chic while doing it.

You don't have alot of photos of your kids on your blog. What's with that?

I have this "thing" about posting pics online...which is ironic because this is a public blog afterall. I guess I'll leave it up to the kids to decide what they share. The Hubbster doesn't really like to feature either, except for this gem (and I know he secretly enjoyed it).

So have the kids done anything embarrassing lately?

What do you mean lately? This is a trick question right?

No we're serious.

Does two kids wrestling at the feet of the saleslady in Bunnings qualify?

Is your blog a Justin Bieber free zone?

No, in fact my blog is Justin Bieber Compatible.

If you had to kiss another woman, who would it be and why?

That would be Drew Barrymore. She is so down to earth, funny and talented. She would make an awesome best friend. And she has great hair.

Do you have an embarassing and cringeworthy moment?

Well there was this one time in the middle of the cinema while watching New Moon when Jacob (Taylor Lautner) took his shirt off, and I called out at the top of my voice "YEAH BABY".

The entire audience roared with laughter and wolf whistled while I slid down in my seat and blushed red like an overripe tomato.

You have 3 children 10 and under, so you would be familiar with The Wiggles. Would you rather listen to Hot Potato Hot Potato one more time or stick a rusty fork in your eye?

This is so close to the mark I can't even decide.