Building Contract is Signed...

It's absolutely happening now. There's no turning back. We are on the train (as The Hubbster says...). To recap:-

* The plans are approved by council

* The quote is in and accepted with our fabulous builder

* The building contract is signed, with a start date of 17 August 2009

* It will take 10 weeks to build our house to lock up stage. So it will look like a house from the outside but be unfinished inside. At least we will have a nice deck to eat Christmas Dinner on....

From that point, which will be around early November, we will take over as owner/builders, which may coincide with when I start pulling my hair out strand by strand. We are not sure how long it will take to be completely finished, some people say around 15 years or so.... you think I am joking don't you...but we are doing it this way because it's the only way we can do it. The builder will do the majority of the work, so we will just have to attend to things like the plumbing, electricals, interior walls, ceilings and finishings. I would imagine that next year, we will be living in our house, with some unfinished areas, that will probably piss me off to no end, but at least I will be out of the shed.

I would love to build the entire house straight up but we want to build our dream home ourselves, when money and time allows us. It's our own personal work in progress, and it will be done right. I am just so freakin' happy to see a start date. And a builder who knows his stuff. Yes, happy as a pig in mud, that's me....

Writers Workshop

Time again for Writers Workshop, courtesy of Mama Kat. I choose prompt 1 which is:-

1.) Who made you red hot this week?

Well I have been red hot most of the week, and I blush to admit that a good story has me all hot and bothered. As you may have read from a previous post, I am currently reading The Southern Vampire Mysteries and I am up to book 4.

The tv series Trueblood is based on the books and I have series 1 on dvd. Now you could easily say that I am obsessed as the written word has weaved its magic on me. Well that's a sign of a good story isn't it?

I love my vampire stories and my friends all know that I love scary movies with werewolves, vamps and zombies featured. I tried to get into Twilight, but it was just too clean and simple for me. Now this series I am reading could be described in single words, racy, edgy, sexy, hot, scary, thrilling, exciting, erotic, awesome (did I mention hot), hot, hot...

So thus I have been hot, bothered and turned on by the events in the story this week. It is set in places that I visited when I was in America - Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas so far, so I can identify and appreciate the references. (I know you are waiting for the sexy parts...)

But I won't go into detail, except to say that there is a bit of a love triangle happening between the female lead character and two vampires, one of which is Eric, played by Alexander Skarsgard who is my current obsession. I liked his character in the books before I saw the actor who plays him in the series and I would say that I am smitten.

So I am reading and reading and feeling like a teenager, and wondering if The Hubbster thinks he will get lucky tonight (as I have been reading passages from the book to him to which he comments (this is just soft porn). And hoping that Eric gets the girl, and wiping my brow..and feeling the warmth run through my body.. sorry gotta run and take a cold shower..

I'm a TV Junkie

I love watching tv. But alas all of my favourite shows are finishing for the season. I have lost my Thursday night triple treat of The Ghost Whisperer, Greys Anatomy and Private Practice. Now Monday night will be crap because Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters have finished and *gasp* Supernatural has one episode left.

The kids and I enjoyed watching HomeMade, which was an aussie home renovation show. It was fun. Now all I have left is Criminal Minds, which is repeating episodes but that's okay because I missed them the first time around and I really like this show. It's a bit graphic and confronting at times, but I like the characters.

I really loved The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, they were aired a few times here. I wish they would return.

This is all that I really look forward to. The rest I don't bother with. I started watching a show at 9.30pm called True Beauty. It was like watching a train wreck, I didn't want to watch but I just had to. It's about 10 "beautiful" contestants, competing for the title of America's Most Beautiful, or some other generalisation.

I have met people here via my blog who are more beautiful than these clowns. I'm sorry but when one says "I have the body, the eyes and the hair - I mean just look at me"... or "I am scientifically beautiful", is this what they have been told to say by the producers to make viewers hate them so much?

The idea of the show is they are judged not only on outer beauty but inner beauty, unbeknown to them. The show follows the usual reality tv formula where two contestants face off in the Hall of Beauty *Farmers Wife throws up by sticking her finger down her throat* and one contestant is eliminated. One of the judges is Cheryl Tiegs, who is either very pissed off about having to be a part of crap like this, or isn't getting paid enough to do it. She would rather be elsewhere.

Now I apologise to anyone who is watching this show and enjoying it. Each to their own. I just googled the show and found out who won. So I don't have to stay up late to watch it now, I can just read instead.

Actually Australian Idol should be starting soon. My kids like watching that, and I do too. We enjoy Sunday nights when they are singing. That will fill a void. And there are rumours that Hey Hey It's Saturday is returning after a 10 year hiatus. For my American friends, this show is great, it was aired Saturday nights from 6.30pm - 8.30pm, and I don't really know how to describe it. A bit variety, a bit comedy, lots of great segments, stupid stuff that my kids will adore.

God how I miss Plucka Duck.....

Over Facebook

I am over facebook. I think the desire to post everything about me there has faded. Not that I put alot of stuff on fb anyway but after a nasty facebook experience last weekend, which was my fault anyway, I have lost the interest in being obsessed about it.

I have deleted my photos, my information and basically everything else about me. If it wasn't such a great, easy way to keep in touch with friends, so much better than email, I would deactivate my account altogether. But I like to see what my friends are doing, I like to be able to "chat" to them online and make plans. So my profile is bare except for some games, gifts and other stuff that I really couldn't be bothered removing. I also culled my friends list from nearly 200 to 66, so you know who you are, my closest 66 friends!!

I have kept the vampires game application going though, as I am kinda obsessed at the moment. I will explain. As you remember, I am reading The Southern Vampire Mysteries, and have recently watched the series 1 of Trueblood. I am currently reading book 3 and it is awesome. I can't put these books down. They are..ahem... quite raunchy and I do admit to getting a bit turned on by all the goings on. The Hubbster thinks I have teenage syndrome and I am ridiculous, but I just say that he is just jeolous. Of my current obsession..who..is..Alexander Skarsgard, a swedish actor who plays Eric in Trueblood. Here he is, drool if you will..

And in his Trueblood character - Eric...

Currently in the story, he is the third wheel of the love triangle between the main female character - Sookie, and her vampire - Bill, who is another stunner. But I am betting that Eric and Sookie will get together, judging from the amount of sexual tension in the air between them. Now remember, I am reading this, and apparently things heat up in book 4. So if I don't blog for a while you will know that I am engrossed in book 4 of The Southern Vampire Mysteries and I won't come out until I am finished.

Quote is In..

We got our quote. It's what we expected because the house is so big, there's alot of roof and floor space! Of course a lesser amount is always better, but we have a builder who is experienced, knowledgeable, positive and is "talking the talk" according to The Hubbster. We are meeting with the builder on Monday to get a revised quote, as we changed a few things, and our contract to sign. I can't believe it is really happening.

Of course this quote is to build to lockup and we will continue from there. And we are not the only lunatics doing this as I found whilst perusing a owner/builder forum the other day. A lady posted who is getting their home built to lock up by a builder, then they will continue on as owner/builder from there AND her hubby was in the same trade as The Hubbster. Spooky. I actually thought she was me..

So The Hubbster is stressing, worrying about everything because it's a huge step, but I am happy and excited because there could be a end in sight to my shed living arrangements. We expect the build to lockup will take about 10 weeks, then we can carry on and do what we can each month. It's not the best way to do things, but we haven't yet won the lottery and we are not rich (in the monetary sense), so this is how it has to be. Just call it a work in progress. I may have a garden in two years time. Or maybe my craft room in one. But what an experience it will be..

Out of the mouth of babes

Whilst saying goodbye to my son at school the other day, I tried for my usual kiss, hug and embarrassing snuggle. And this happened:-

Mr C (aged 6): mum, I am a bit grownup for a kiss now

Me: (tries not to be horrified and hurt) oh really, okay then

We then shake hands and bump our shoulders together, in football style fashion like we always do

Me: bye love you, (walks off a bit sad while Mr C goes to class)

I then get a tap on the back and I turn around to find Mr C smiling at me. He reaches up and grabs my neck and I pick him up and he says:-

Mr C: I will have a kiss mummy.

I kiss him on the cheek and hug him like I never want to let him go. He very carefully kisses my cheek, and I say:

Me: I will always be here to give you a kiss. You will never be too old for me to kiss and hug you. You will always be my little boy. I love you.

House Plans are Approved!

It's official! Our house plans are approved by council. We are meeting with our preferred builder tommorrow to see his quote. I will either be back with balloons and a start date to celebrate, or with tears of frustration if the quote is too high. Here's hoping it's the first one...

Humble Pie, I ate it today

I've eaten humble pie today. I have realised that it gets you nowhere being confrontational and opinionated. I now know not to shoot my mouth off without thinking first. I believe that actions can hurt, and sometimes it is better to just..let..it..be..

I also know that I am a better person for apologising, and I can swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong. I feel good about myself and I will try to live a better, cleaner, happier life, by being passive and avoiding conflict. I don't want to make enemies, I want to be happy. I will fight for my family to the end of the Earth, but if I am wrong, I will admit it. And today proves that I am well on the way to being that better person.

Harry Potter Breakdown Pass

There was excitement in the air. The stage was set. The kids were tucked in at home. The popcorn was served. I was ready to see Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. I was so freakin excited as I am a Potter fan and love getting swept away by the fantasy of it all.

I even had my own row, well there was one guy at the end but I had no one sitting next to me, which as you know, is a prerequisite for my cinema experience. The movie was fantastic, a bit darker, a bit hormonal and with some surprises that I will not give away. And then it happened. Now I know you are thinking "bahahaha Farmers Wife, it couldn't have happened again, could it?" Think back to This

I'll set the scene. The movie is fantastically good. There is 10 minutes to go. The crucial scene, the build up to revealing who the Half Blood Prince is, as well as the climax to the entire exciting thing is about to occur. What happens?? The projector breaks down. I'll repeat that THE PROJECTOR BREAKS DOWN. The room was silent, with the screen blank, the lights on and some funny guys yells out "what the fuck!". It broke the ice.

How could this possibly happen, twice in a row to me? It didn't happen during the boring bits, well there wasn't any boring bits but you know what I mean. The most exciting moments at the end of the film, and the movie breaks down. The atmosphere and ambience were ruined. The film restarted, only to stop again. We had to wait for 10 minutes but by then the feeling was gone. I'm not sure if we missed 5 minutes or so but we watched the end and that was it.

This time I did ask for a refund and I now have a breakdown free pass. WTF does it mean when they have breakdown passes at the ready? Do they "expect" this kind of thing to happen? I'll stop the bitchin now only to say that I loved the movie and I love getting swept away by it all. The two and half hours went by so quick that I could have stayed and watched more. I love the owls in the movie. I adore the music. I love seeing how the main characters have grown up in the series. I need to rewatch all the films again to remind myself how good they are. It takes me away... It's all...so...magical...

Today gave me a headache.

It's been a trying day today. And I promise to get to your blogs soon. Sorry I'm off on a tangent early in this post already.

We headed off in the cold for my son's football game which started at 8am. The Hubbster was working today. He has been helping with the coaching, and had the kids running the ball in order of their numbers. So each boy gets a good run and it's all fair. Well, for some reason that all went out the window, and the game was messy and the more energetic kids ran the ball and the quieter kids didn't.

So each time I yelled out "Mr C, have a run", the coach gave him a run. He ran the ball 3 times, compared to another boy who had 7 runs. I still don't know what has changed in the coaching, but what's the point of The Hubbster getting the kids into a good, strong routine, only to throw it out the window. *sigh* My head is starting to hurt over this.

We then went to the dvd shop, and Miss T sliced her head open on the underside of a table stacked with dvds. So off to the ambulance and to emergency to have her head glued back up. She's fine, I have a headache, and I wonder why I got out of bed this morning.

Mums visit

Mum left today. She was only here for 4 days this visit, so it seems as soon as she got here she left again. Usually she stays for a month, so this trip was extra short. But she came up with my aunt and uncle - her brother so it was easy for her flying etc as she gets a bit nervous.

So we crammed so much into 4 days, we didn't stop! But I am always so sad when she leaves, I usually wallow around for the day looking for her, feeling lonely and sorry for myself. I feel like that now. At least she has seen the farm, and the shed and the animals and now she knows what the hell I am talking about!

We had a family bbq last night. The Hubbster, the kids, Mum, my aunt and uncle and my cousin and her hubby who live here. It was awesome, but it reminded me of what I am missing by living so far away from my family. Mum has 3 brothers and 2 sisters so therefore I have over 20 cousins and I miss the big get togethers that they have down home.

But this is MY home here now and my little family are growing up HERE so I need to focus on that. And it's such a beautiful place to live, so that makes it easier.

She got HONOURS

Mum is still here, so I can't blog for long, but I wanted to write that Miss D got her ballet exam result back today and...she...got...HONOURS...

Which is five up from "pass" so as you can understand we are so proud of her, and she is so happy too! So we are having pizza tonight to celebrate..

First Ballet exam over

My mum is visiting from New South Wales, and she is only here for 4 days so we are fitting lots and lots of stuff into these 4 days. And I will be a mess again when she goes because she just got here. But 4 days is better than nothing so we are shopping, lunching and doing our favourite thing which is watching tv at night with our newspapers and our wine and beer. We always do this.

Miss D (aged 8) did her very first ballet exam today. I was so proud of her, and pretty damn proud of myself too, for perfecting the neatest hair bun, which is quite stressful because her hair is down to her butt and is as thick as a horses tail. And she has flyawaybits. Which we both hate. I love how she licks her fingers and smooths out her hair. Kinda like a cat.

So she looked good, with her blue leotard and tights and ballet shoes with ribbons, and her flowers in her hair and her perfect ballet bun. And she came out with a smile, to join my sigh of relief. This is her 2nd year of dancing, so we are relatively new. There are, however, some mums who have girls who have danced for years and years and years, and who like to make that point known.

Just this morning, one mother couldn't even be bothered talking to me, as I am a newish mum, and her daughter has been dancing since the ice age. Her attitude seemed to be that I was bothersome to her, kinda like, why talk to her, she's nothing important. I asked her a couple of questions, because I didn't know a few things, because I am obviously stupid, and she answered with a laugh and with distaste in her mouth. I am not one of the "in" mothers, and she let me know it. I may not know which sequins to sew, or which ballet tights are the best - yet - but I will learn.

Just breathe....

As much as I adore and love my headstrong, wilful and energetic 4 year old, I am breathing out calmly now she is snuggled in bed asleep. The comparison to a spitting camel comes to mind after todays antics. *breath*......

Writers Workshop

I really look forward to each weeks writers workshop, courtesy of Mama Kat. This week I have chosen:-

3) Describe a difficult moment that you survived. I have decided to write about a life changing moment for me, a difficult one, yes but one that defined me as a mother and who I identify with today. The birth of my first child.

I have always wanted to be a mother, and I waited so long. I was in my early 30's when I found out I was pregnant, after only a couple of months of trying. My pregnancy was uneventful and each day I still couldn't believe the one thing I had always wanted, was soon about to come true.

The time came for us to meet our first baby. It was a Thursday and The Hubbster had gone for a few drinks to send off a workmate. I joked about not going too far as this baby was due. My mum was staying with us to help out after the baby was born. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, something that we decided on with all of our children.

The Hubbster arrived home around ten minutes to midnight, with several celebrationary drinks under his belt and a warm comfy bed waiting for him. He climbed into bed and within 5 minutes my waters broke.

"Umm we have to go to hospital, my waters broke"

"Are you freakin kidding me??"

"Nope, get up". We rang the hospital who advised us to come in, even though I wasn't having any pains, which was the worse thing we did. Because we were still there 25 hours later. Yes folks I said 25 hours later. We woke mum and told her then we drove to the hospital, no wait I DROVE to the hospital because The Hubbster was quite drunk. So I drove. People kinda think this is funny. I didn't at the time.

The next few hours nothing happened. I was advised to stay put and not go home as it was my first baby and as my waters had already broken, it was better to be monitored. Well we walked and walked and walked, trying to get some action. No pains, nothing. We walked around the hospital several times, up and down flights of stairs, with The Hubbster taking photos of me "in labour". This is easy, I thought. I can't feel anything.

12 hours later, I was walking the coridors attached to a drip. I think we called him Sam, I really can't remember because I was really in labour. And it hurt. I showered with Sam. Sam and I watched The Hubbster eat my dinner, while I panted through another fucking contraction. And when I vomited Sam was there. More than once I remarked "you have got to be kidding me." A couple of times I thought "I will never get out of this", and only once I thought "I am never, ever doing this again".

I had no pain relief, I had decided that after my meeting with encephalitis when a child there was no way in hell I was letting a needle anywhere near my spine (after a bad experience with a lumbar puncture). So I opted for the gas only. Which as you mums know, only takes the edge of the pain and your hubby want to try it.

Many times I explained to The Hubbster to rub my back when a contraction hit, only to scream at him when he did. He took several magazines to read as we were in for the long haul and funnily enough commented when having baby 2 and 3 "wow I didn't even get to read my books this time". I think I slapped him there and then.

I remember looking out of the window at the rain, and by this time it was Friday night. I thought it was never going to end. The pain was unbearable, the contractions keep on coming and coming. Was there an end to it? The Hubbster said to me "this time tommorrow you will be back to normal, we will have our baby and the pain will be over. There IS an end to it, put the good yards in now, go for it. It won't be long and it will be over". As well as this helping me focus, I found it amusing that he likened the birthing of my child to some kind of sport. Most possibly football.

Nearly at the end now and I was focusing on each pain, looking at the pink and blue tags the nurse had ready. I will always remember this moment because I was so out of control of my situation, scared and in pain, but seeing those two baby tags gave me something to concentrate on. I breathed "it's nearly done, it's nearly done" over and over.

The hard yards were paying off, it was time to push. So with my legs on the nurses hips, I pushed for.... 2 hours. And to this day I can't understand why these nurses didn't move me or change my position. It was horrific, I was scared and tired and worn out.

At 1.24am, 25 hours after my waters broke, my darling baby girl arrived. I threw myself back on the bed and cried out and the nurses looked at me. They handed her to me and the first thing I noticed was her cupids bow lips and her eyes which were just like her daddys. I couldn't believe she was mine. I wondered if someone would come and take her away, it was surreal. Could I really be a mother?

This was the most difficult time, but I survived. The pain and the fear almost overwhelmed me. It's a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. It was scary because I couldn't go back, I could only move forward and at times I had no control. But the one thing that amazes me is that right after my daughters birth, I swore I could go through it all again, right there and then, because she was so worth it. And I meant it...

Doesn't anyone want work??

I decided to ring around today to get 2 more building quotes for our house. Now we absolutely love the builder who is quoting at present. He is positive, enthusiastic, smart and knows his stuff, and has experience on his side. And the best thing is he wants the job. But we need to do the correct thing and get our 3 quotes to compare prices. I am really hoping our builder of choice comes through for us, because we would feel so comfortable with him working for us.

There are pages and pages of builders and they are all (mostly) looking for work, and that is a great thing for us. Hopefully it will bring the prices down. So I am irritated and dumbfounded at what happened today, just trying to get these building quotes. Read on:-

Builder 1 - didn't bother to return my call...

Builder 2 - completely negative, can't make it out to look til the weekend, can I ring him back then. Says he is familiar with the build up to now and doesn't really think nails will go into the hardwood, could be a bit difficult. WTF this means I have no idea... I could literally feel his nose screwing up on the other side of the phone line...

Builder 3 - this one is a doozy.. so I need to write word for word. I'm having a glass of wine just to calm myself down. Yes, it's THAT GOOD..

me: hello, I saw your add (yes they advertised for work) in the paper looking for building work and I was wondering if you are interested in quoting on a build to lock up. The house has already been started, up to bearers and joists and is all inspected and approved. We have our plans in at council now...

her: right, so the house has already been started? That's unusual

me: yes it has been started, the previous owner was owner builder as are we but we want a builder to build to lock up only

her:- well, who has built what is already there?

me: why do you want to know that at this stage, I'm only seeing if you are interested?

her:- well we need to know that

me:- why do you need to know that since I am only phoning to see if you are interested in quoting?

her:- well, Stephen will want to know, he won't touch a lemon

me: feeling some steam rising from my ears..

me: how do you know it is a lemon, you haven't even seen the build?

her: well how do you know it's not? Just because it is council approved doesn't mean it's not a lemon

me: don't worry about it, I can feel alot of negativity here, goodbye.

her: foutw cghwervy wsherpivwch eivwutchec tepiotehce as I hung up the phone in her ear.

The nerve of this woman, how dare she call my house a lemon without even seeing it. All I got from this phone call was negativity, and a smart arse reply from someone who advertised for work then is completely rude on the phone. No wonder this bitch and her probably long suffering husband are having to advertise for work. Fuck.

House plans are submitted

A cold but glorious Monday today, the second (and last) week of the school holidays. The kids are fighting, so it must be time to go back to school. We had two birthday parties and a 50th yesterday, so I have paid my dues so I am sitting on my butt at the computer for a while today.

The Hubbster submitted our house plans to council today. Our builder is quoting right now and I am also going to get two other comparison quotes. I am waiting on one builder to phone me back and I am not even going to worry about the other dude I rang because he was totally negative and annoying, even on the phone. I felt like saying "buddy you haven't even seen the place yet, how the hell can you comment on the hardwood being too hard to nail into", it's hardwood, it's supposed to be hard. Yeah whatever, he won't get a callback.

I am super excited that possibly in a months time, we may have some action out here. At present we are only using our builder to lock up and we will continue from there. But if he comes back with a good price, we will get him to do more. It all depends on the money. I wish I could win the lotto. Then I could have my house pretty much straight away and umm finished.

Gotta go clean up. Mum arrives next week to see us and the shed. Hope she doesn't expect a palace..

Happy 4th July..

I just wanted to take the time to wish all of my American "mates" a Happy 4th July... You know how I regard America as my second home, because I love it so much. And I dream of going back someday. Your country is awesome and I love that you guys are so patriotic, that is what we Aussies realise about you. Have a wonderful celebration....

Good morning Mama

Miss T woke quite early and yelled this out:-

Good Morning Mama

It's going to be another beautiful day.

And besides the fact it was soooo cold with icy annoying winds blowing, I knew she was right, because she is so wonderful....

I'm proud of my faith

Today The Hubbster was sleeping for night shift, and Miss D was on a sleepover/shopping spree/all attention on her visit with her Nanna, so it was just the two kids and me. I decided to take them to a couple of parks for a run and a kick the ball. It's freezing here at the moment, but if I can find some sun to sit in I'm happy.

The first park we went to was deserted so I kicked the ball and "trained him" as my son likes to say. We did some tackles and runs and more tackles and scrums. You know the drill. I pushed my little girl on the swing and she shrieked with delight. I decided to sit for a while in the sun whilst they played.

I could see out of the corner of my eye some Jehovah's Witness walkers doing their rounds of door knocking. And of course I attracted them because they came across the road and sat next to me. "Mind if we share your sunny bench" they said. Of course I didnt' mind, if that was all there was on their agenda.

Now you will remember a previous post of mine about this particular subject. Farmers Wife: I'm a friggin Catholic.. We chatted for a while about different things and the family were really lovely. We got talking about reading etc and the mum told me of some great books she has read and I thought about telling her I was reading The Southern Vampire Mysteries which is about bloodthirsty and sexed up horny vampires, but I didn't think that would go down so well. Then the conversation went a bit like this:-

her: I have something wonderful for you to read today. (and she starts ferreting around in her bag for this particular something)

me: oh really

her: (she produces a booklet and a brochure and starts telling me how wonderful all this is and that I can take this book and read it. It's all mine)

me: (says straight up) I'm Catholic

her: that's so wonderful. Now tell me something, is it true that the Catholic Church has been advising followers not to read the Bible? This sounds very strange.

me: (wanting to say - how the hell would I know, I don't even read the Bible) and also thinking (maybe I just might start) Well I haven't heard that at all.

her: well it seems very strange, anyway take the book and read it.

me: (putting my hand on her hand and the book) No I don't want to take the book today. Keep it for someone else who will read it.

TIME FOR A DISCLAIMER to say once again that I appreciate that every person has their own faith, and I have the right to be a Catholic just as everyone else has the right to follow whatever religion they choose.

me: (thinking this is the perfect opportunity to find out a few things that "I" don't understand about her faith) let me ask you this, why don't you celebrate Birthdays and Christmas?

her: that's a very good question, you need to go home and google all about it and you will find out these practices have Pagan origins, so it's not good to celebrate these events.

me: (now I start feeling a bit sick inside and pissed off about her tone) (and feeling like she is basically putting down "My" religion).

I finished the chat and grabbed the kids and went to another park. Now I need to get some things off my chest. And I apologize in advance if I offend anyone but some things need to be said.

- I don't appreciate being preached to and made to feel as though my faith is wrong, whilst just trying to spend some time at the park with my kids.

- how many times and in what capacity do they need to be told NO. They push and push their religion onto people and that is why they get a bad wrap.

- what gives her the right to criticize what I believe in, in a very off handed comment.

And since this is my blog and I actually am a bit teary writing this, after thinking about it and reading a bit more about the Jehovahs Witness movement and my Catholic faith, I feel I can write whatever the hell I want.

- I don't go to Church on a regular basis, nor do I read the Bible, but I am Catholic, I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit and I celebrate Christmas because that is the birth of Jesus Christ. I also celebrate Easter as Our Lord died on the cross and was resurrected three days later. And I don't eat meat on Good Friday, apart from the obvious reasons, the fact that if I did, my mother would know even though she lives 2 days drive away...

- this is how my family was brought up, and this is the faith I follow now. The teachings from when I was younger, formed the basis to why I still follow this religion.

- saying that, there are things I don't agree with regarding the Catholic Church, and I don't like Pope Benedict as he is kinda creepy.

- Jehovah's Witnesses believe that Jesus was Jehovah's first creation, that Jehovah then created everything else by means of him, and that the initial unassisted act of creation uniquely identifies Jesus as God's 'only-begotten Son'. Jesus served as a ransom sacrifice to pay for the sins of humankind. They believe that Jesus died on a single upright torture stake rather than the traditional cross. Apart from the fact I copied this, I find it really offensive.

- I can't understand how Jehovahs Witness followers deny their children the joy of Christmas, birthdays and not to mention blood transfusions even in life threatening situations.

- I have been reading about their movement, and there is so much more I disagree with, in fact I am shaking my head just reading about what they believe in, just as there are facts about my faith that others may find surprising. But everyone has the right to follow whatever religion they choose without pressure to change. And that is how I feel when these people talk to me.

I feel upset writing this, and somewhat disturbed but things need to be said, and if I can't let go here, I may as well give up. The next time I meet with Jehovahs Witness followers, I will be armed with more knowledge and I won't let myself be made to feel not worthy. Which is how I felt today.

Never thought I'd say I love Hannah Montana

Miss D's little friend invited her on a movie date to see Hannah Montana-The Movie. So we went along with every other tween in the city. Her friends mum didn't stay for the movie, but as I am an overbearing, neurotic, worrysome mum, and since she is only 8 years old, I decided to stay. And sit through Hannah Montana.

As we lined up, I was told not to walk with them or sit with them. My daughter didn't want to be "associated" with her mother. Another mum burst out laughing and said "wait til they are twelve, they will want you to just drop them off". So we walked in, with me several paces behind.

Once in the cinema, I "had" to sit in the row behind the girls. I smiled at how grown up they were being. The cinema was hardly full, in fact there were rows and rows of seats vacant. Now you know what I am going to say now. Yes it happened. Remember my previous post about how anal I am when it comes to my cinema experience, and how it pisses me off when someone sits next to me?

Well, in a cinema full of empty seats, this woman and her two daughters come in - late - and *smirk* sit in my row. NOT ONLY IN MY ROW but in the friggin seats next to me! WTF we were sharing an arm rest, with 60 vacant seats STILL VACANT. Do I attract these people?? Do I smell good or something? Why are these people invading my personal space?

So I said to the mother "I am waiting for someone" and she moved. One seat up. That's all I'm gonna get. So I settled down to sit through what I thought would be a chore, but you know what? I totally enjoyed the movie! Lots of country music, a wholesome story, a cute cowboy as a love interest, which reminds me when he first came on screen on his horse, the teenage girls behind me yelled out "well helloooo...." Totally funny stuff.

So I have come to appreciate Hannah Montana because of the following:

- Miley Cyrus has the best teeth I have ever seen
- Rascal Flatts sang in the movie
- there was lots of great country music, and cowboy hats and horses
- Billy Ray Cyrus has still got it. Yes, I'm a mullet lover.
- my girl loved the movie and if she's happy, then I'm happy
- she now has something else to obsess about
- I have heaps of ideas for Christmas and Birthday gifts for her, as long as it has to do with Hannah Montana
- the movie made me feel young again
- it also made me want to pick up my guitar

It also made me think of what it will be like when my eldest daughter turns 12. Or 13. How grown up she will be and how many wonderful experiences await her. She is hanging out already to go to the movies or shopping by herself, to have girls nights out (god forbid) and I suppose to meet that special boy. It's natural but scary for me as a mother that she is growing up so fast. But at the same time, I am so excited for her. The world awaits...

WE HAVE HOUSE PLANS!

Guess what I collected today? Guess. Go on guess, guess?? Yes that's right, our house plans. Fully completed, printed and ready to be studied like crazy.

Our builder of choice is coming out this afternoon to pick up a copy and do his quote. Tommorrow The Hubbster will probably submit our plans to council and get that underway. We will get two more builder quotes and go from there. It is all happening. I am so excited. I even hugged our draftsman and apologised if I have been a bit stressy. He said he has seen worse....

Writers Workshop

Time again for writers workshop, thanks to a mirror image! of mine over at Mama Kats. This week I have chosen prompt number 1 which is:-

Mother's guilt...tell us what happened. Well this prompt really stuck out and grabbed me because mothers guilt is dear to my heart. Because I have it. I hate it. And it makes me cry.

You see, I have always wanted to be a mother. A stay at home mum, who as the cliches show, bakes cookies and muffins, wears an apron, and gives my life to my offspring who are in fact perfect in every way. Because I am the perfect mother. Or so it seemed at the time, when I was 14 and decided this is what I wanted to do.

Fast forward to now. I am a married mum of 3, not so perfect, with kids who are normal, noisy, energetic, crazy little things, who break my heart most days, because I love them so much. I sometimes feel like I let them down. I have mother guilt. I feel guilty when my son asks me for the tenth time to play football with him, and I am so busy I put him off again.

I feel guilty when I don't spend enough time with my children, and they get a bit crazy. I feel guilty when I yell at them, or get impatient, when I should be in control. I feel guilty because I am not the perfect mother.

There is so much pressure on women to be the perfect mother, so when one fails, in their eyes, it's a big thing. Sometimes when my kids are asleep and I kiss them goodnight, I promise myself to do better next time. Of course, to my kids, I AM the perfect mother. Even if I do get impatient or crazy with them.

I want to be there for my children when they need me. And I try to do this always. Sometimes there just isn't enough of me to go around. It's my big issue with time, or lack of it. And that is sad because they are growing up and one day won't want me to play football, or tea parties with them.

So I am letting go. Of the mother guilt. I just came in from playing football with my son. I will play dollies with my girls tommorrow. I will leave the chores til later because this is the time that is the most important. Their young lives. I will realise that I AM a good mother, and it's normal to make mistakes and learn from them.

I will realise that my kids think I am awesome, and in their eyes I am the best mum in the world. And my son proved it, yesterday when he called me "babe".....

Holidays and stupid people

I love school holidays. I can't understand how some parents say things like "I can't wait til school goes back" or "my kids are bugging me big time". School holidays mean lazy mornings sleeping in, no school rush, no lunches or lost shoes, or unmatched socks. No homework not done or water bottles left behind.

This morning we woke around 8am. The Hubbster had gone to work, so I woke with a "look out the window, stretch a bit, snuggle back down in the blankets." A bit different from waking an hour late with a "fuck we are late.... GET UP".

We went into town today and I had a few jobs to do so I bribed the kids with a promise to go to McDonalds if they behaved in the chemist. And bugger me THEY DID. Miss T, who usually turns banshee crazy anywhere near a shopping centre was the best behaved little girl. Walking next to me with her little handbag, oh so cute.

We got everything done unstressfully, and walked in to McDonalds to join the line which snaked out the door. I happened to look up and noticed there was another line with 3 people in it. So I walked in and joined that queue, thinking "what the hell are these people waiting for when there is a perfectly short line there to join".

I looked up and there was a mother who was staring daggers at me. Her eyes were as wide as saucers. I think she was either trying to bore a hole in me or set me alight. Because I'd jumped the queue. But technically I hadn't because I just joined a line. Something these stupid people failed to do because they just joined the line snaking out the door.

I mean, why do people act like sheep and just follow one another without looking at their surroundings and taking a chance. I thought, if these people don't want to join the short line then I will. I was waiting for her to say something to me, actually I was hoping she would because now that I'm in my 40's I can say what I like. So I would have said "well, I haven't jumped in because this line was available and I joined it. You bitch". Naw, I wouldn't have said that. But she probably thought that I was one.....