Gettin ma shit together

As the title suggests, this is what I'll be doing next week.

Until then, allow me another few days to wallow in my own self pity, and woe is me mood, and then on Monday I'll get my shit together.

I start back at work on then, so I really need to snap out of this snarky mood I'm in.

I spent all last night reading a blog about a little 3 year old girl, who lives in a hospital and is very sick. She is beautiful. Her mum and dad are beautiful and they are trying their best to be normal and happy. They are blessed. I was very humbled by this story.

But then this morning, I found out another mum at school who I see twice a day, is just pregnant, which now makes two. And I was further along then both of them. So why am I unpregnant and they still are (that's my irrational side thinking).

And then I spoke to a mum of 1 who has been trying for another child for years. I would love her to have a baby and I would be so happy for her. Not unlike the mum I saw this morning at the shops, blowing cigarette smoke onto her grubby and underdressed toddler, telling her friend that she is 20 weeks pregnant and is having a girl.

But who am I to judge?

I suppose with emotions, they go up and down at different times, and I have to deal with them. The thing that really pisses me atm is that I was over this emotional stuff 3 years ago. I'd moved on. Right now, I feel like I am right back there, and now I will have months and months of this sad, pathetic crap to deal with.

10 weeks ago I was happy. Really happy. We were building our house, the kids were settled. I was happy.

Then I was given this little baby and along with him (her) a lot of hopes, dreams, stress and excitement.

And it was taken away just as quick. Why the hell was it given with one hand and taken away with the other? I really just don't understand this.

I have to get it together. There is so much I want (need) to do. I only have one life. And I have a family. I am so lucky. We are all healthy, we live in the sunshine, we might actually live in The Money Pit next year.

And I can dance. See, I am very very blessed.

They Did WHAT?

Facebook chat tonight with a good friend of mine - Lynda. That's her real name and she's not undercover. Because she's tough like that.

10.02pm
Me
you will never guess what my bloody family just did!

10:03pm
Lynda
lol what!

10:04pm
Me
this is petty and funny but annoying

10:04pm
Lynda
lol
baited breath

10:04pm
Me
every friday night The Hubbster and the kids watch the footy, I usually buy them something for "half time report" we call it.

10:05pm
Lynda
lmao

10:05pm
Me
so I bought a big chocolate, and they came out and got it at half time
i'm blogging about this!!
and guess what
the shits (all of them) ate the lot, i went in to have a piece with my cuppa and they left me nothing
bloody rude

10:05pm
Lynda
lmao
bloody rude - the hide!

10:06pm
Me
they said we didn't think u wanted any
wtf

10:06pm
Lynda
pfft as if!!

10:06pm
Me
I'm actually really cranky because at times I feel like mum gets nothing, kwim, the short friggin stick in the family
like I think of them and buy it and they haven't even got the decency to keep me some.....

10:07pm
Lynda
yes!
i hear you!!!

10:08pm
Me
they thought it was a funny joke, well lets see who will be laughing next friday night.
it will be me in here hiding with my own freakin chocolate while they have none!

10:09pm
Lynda
for half time report next week cut up a fruit platter and then proceed to eat the biggest hugest block of chocolate you can find....all for you and eat in front of them
heh heh heh
even if just to see the looks on their faces

10:10pm
Me
I'll just lock myself in the computer room and they can fend for themselves.
Can I blog this conversation?

10:15pm
Lynda
yes

10:16pm
Me
do you want your name changed to protect your identity?
lmao

10:17pm
Lynda
lmao
nah its ok
unless you want to

10:18pm
Me
cool, bloody family.

10:21pm
Lynda
have you blogged yet
i want to read!!

10:22pm
Me
i'll do it now brb

10:23pm
Lynda
dont keep me in suspense!!!

10:23pm
Me
lol one tic u can feature on my blog!

10:23pm
Lynda
:-)
ooooooo

You will see by this conversation that

a) Lynda secretly wants to blog

b) Lynda could possibly be rolling her eyes (possibly around 10.05pm) at the insignificance of this story

c) Lynda is very brave for not changing her name to protect her identity and

d) Lynda is a very understanding friend.

Stupid stupid me

I am such an idiot. I can't believe how stupid I am. I have been looking forward all day to The Miss Universe Pageant that is on tv tonight at 10.30pm. Yes late I know but I love it, and watch it every year, and have done so for as long as I can remember.

I told myself not to read the newspaper or listen to the radio, to prevent the winner being announced before I watch the damn show. It's kinda like when my dad waited all day long for the Sunday night football and our annoying neighbour would come in and tell him who won the game. So frustrating.

So what do I do, I log onto facebook thats what! And on my friends list is Shanna Moakler . I've liked her ever since I watched the Miss USA pageant in 1995 and we have chatted on facebook which I find amazing. Anyway she announced the winner as there is obviously a time delay. I am kicking myself for logging on, and I am staying offline (after this post) so as not to find out any other details and completely ruin the entire thing. I do, however still plan to stay up and watch the show, and I might even put on a damn frock.

Harry Potter Breakdown Pass

There was excitement in the air. The stage was set. The kids were tucked in at home. The popcorn was served. I was ready to see Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. I was so freakin excited as I am a Potter fan and love getting swept away by the fantasy of it all.

I even had my own row, well there was one guy at the end but I had no one sitting next to me, which as you know, is a prerequisite for my cinema experience. The movie was fantastic, a bit darker, a bit hormonal and with some surprises that I will not give away. And then it happened. Now I know you are thinking "bahahaha Farmers Wife, it couldn't have happened again, could it?" Think back to This

I'll set the scene. The movie is fantastically good. There is 10 minutes to go. The crucial scene, the build up to revealing who the Half Blood Prince is, as well as the climax to the entire exciting thing is about to occur. What happens?? The projector breaks down. I'll repeat that THE PROJECTOR BREAKS DOWN. The room was silent, with the screen blank, the lights on and some funny guys yells out "what the fuck!". It broke the ice.

How could this possibly happen, twice in a row to me? It didn't happen during the boring bits, well there wasn't any boring bits but you know what I mean. The most exciting moments at the end of the film, and the movie breaks down. The atmosphere and ambience were ruined. The film restarted, only to stop again. We had to wait for 10 minutes but by then the feeling was gone. I'm not sure if we missed 5 minutes or so but we watched the end and that was it.

This time I did ask for a refund and I now have a breakdown free pass. WTF does it mean when they have breakdown passes at the ready? Do they "expect" this kind of thing to happen? I'll stop the bitchin now only to say that I loved the movie and I love getting swept away by it all. The two and half hours went by so quick that I could have stayed and watched more. I love the owls in the movie. I adore the music. I love seeing how the main characters have grown up in the series. I need to rewatch all the films again to remind myself how good they are. It takes me away... It's all...so...magical...

Doesn't anyone want work??

I decided to ring around today to get 2 more building quotes for our house. Now we absolutely love the builder who is quoting at present. He is positive, enthusiastic, smart and knows his stuff, and has experience on his side. And the best thing is he wants the job. But we need to do the correct thing and get our 3 quotes to compare prices. I am really hoping our builder of choice comes through for us, because we would feel so comfortable with him working for us.

There are pages and pages of builders and they are all (mostly) looking for work, and that is a great thing for us. Hopefully it will bring the prices down. So I am irritated and dumbfounded at what happened today, just trying to get these building quotes. Read on:-

Builder 1 - didn't bother to return my call...

Builder 2 - completely negative, can't make it out to look til the weekend, can I ring him back then. Says he is familiar with the build up to now and doesn't really think nails will go into the hardwood, could be a bit difficult. WTF this means I have no idea... I could literally feel his nose screwing up on the other side of the phone line...

Builder 3 - this one is a doozy.. so I need to write word for word. I'm having a glass of wine just to calm myself down. Yes, it's THAT GOOD..

me: hello, I saw your add (yes they advertised for work) in the paper looking for building work and I was wondering if you are interested in quoting on a build to lock up. The house has already been started, up to bearers and joists and is all inspected and approved. We have our plans in at council now...

her: right, so the house has already been started? That's unusual

me: yes it has been started, the previous owner was owner builder as are we but we want a builder to build to lock up only

her:- well, who has built what is already there?

me: why do you want to know that at this stage, I'm only seeing if you are interested?

her:- well we need to know that

me:- why do you need to know that since I am only phoning to see if you are interested in quoting?

her:- well, Stephen will want to know, he won't touch a lemon

me: feeling some steam rising from my ears..

me: how do you know it is a lemon, you haven't even seen the build?

her: well how do you know it's not? Just because it is council approved doesn't mean it's not a lemon

me: don't worry about it, I can feel alot of negativity here, goodbye.

her: foutw cghwervy wsherpivwch eivwutchec tepiotehce as I hung up the phone in her ear.

The nerve of this woman, how dare she call my house a lemon without even seeing it. All I got from this phone call was negativity, and a smart arse reply from someone who advertised for work then is completely rude on the phone. No wonder this bitch and her probably long suffering husband are having to advertise for work. Fuck.

I'm proud of my faith

Today The Hubbster was sleeping for night shift, and Miss D was on a sleepover/shopping spree/all attention on her visit with her Nanna, so it was just the two kids and me. I decided to take them to a couple of parks for a run and a kick the ball. It's freezing here at the moment, but if I can find some sun to sit in I'm happy.

The first park we went to was deserted so I kicked the ball and "trained him" as my son likes to say. We did some tackles and runs and more tackles and scrums. You know the drill. I pushed my little girl on the swing and she shrieked with delight. I decided to sit for a while in the sun whilst they played.

I could see out of the corner of my eye some Jehovah's Witness walkers doing their rounds of door knocking. And of course I attracted them because they came across the road and sat next to me. "Mind if we share your sunny bench" they said. Of course I didnt' mind, if that was all there was on their agenda.

Now you will remember a previous post of mine about this particular subject. Farmers Wife: I'm a friggin Catholic.. We chatted for a while about different things and the family were really lovely. We got talking about reading etc and the mum told me of some great books she has read and I thought about telling her I was reading The Southern Vampire Mysteries which is about bloodthirsty and sexed up horny vampires, but I didn't think that would go down so well. Then the conversation went a bit like this:-

her: I have something wonderful for you to read today. (and she starts ferreting around in her bag for this particular something)

me: oh really

her: (she produces a booklet and a brochure and starts telling me how wonderful all this is and that I can take this book and read it. It's all mine)

me: (says straight up) I'm Catholic

her: that's so wonderful. Now tell me something, is it true that the Catholic Church has been advising followers not to read the Bible? This sounds very strange.

me: (wanting to say - how the hell would I know, I don't even read the Bible) and also thinking (maybe I just might start) Well I haven't heard that at all.

her: well it seems very strange, anyway take the book and read it.

me: (putting my hand on her hand and the book) No I don't want to take the book today. Keep it for someone else who will read it.

TIME FOR A DISCLAIMER to say once again that I appreciate that every person has their own faith, and I have the right to be a Catholic just as everyone else has the right to follow whatever religion they choose.

me: (thinking this is the perfect opportunity to find out a few things that "I" don't understand about her faith) let me ask you this, why don't you celebrate Birthdays and Christmas?

her: that's a very good question, you need to go home and google all about it and you will find out these practices have Pagan origins, so it's not good to celebrate these events.

me: (now I start feeling a bit sick inside and pissed off about her tone) (and feeling like she is basically putting down "My" religion).

I finished the chat and grabbed the kids and went to another park. Now I need to get some things off my chest. And I apologize in advance if I offend anyone but some things need to be said.

- I don't appreciate being preached to and made to feel as though my faith is wrong, whilst just trying to spend some time at the park with my kids.

- how many times and in what capacity do they need to be told NO. They push and push their religion onto people and that is why they get a bad wrap.

- what gives her the right to criticize what I believe in, in a very off handed comment.

And since this is my blog and I actually am a bit teary writing this, after thinking about it and reading a bit more about the Jehovahs Witness movement and my Catholic faith, I feel I can write whatever the hell I want.

- I don't go to Church on a regular basis, nor do I read the Bible, but I am Catholic, I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit and I celebrate Christmas because that is the birth of Jesus Christ. I also celebrate Easter as Our Lord died on the cross and was resurrected three days later. And I don't eat meat on Good Friday, apart from the obvious reasons, the fact that if I did, my mother would know even though she lives 2 days drive away...

- this is how my family was brought up, and this is the faith I follow now. The teachings from when I was younger, formed the basis to why I still follow this religion.

- saying that, there are things I don't agree with regarding the Catholic Church, and I don't like Pope Benedict as he is kinda creepy.

- Jehovah's Witnesses believe that Jesus was Jehovah's first creation, that Jehovah then created everything else by means of him, and that the initial unassisted act of creation uniquely identifies Jesus as God's 'only-begotten Son'. Jesus served as a ransom sacrifice to pay for the sins of humankind. They believe that Jesus died on a single upright torture stake rather than the traditional cross. Apart from the fact I copied this, I find it really offensive.

- I can't understand how Jehovahs Witness followers deny their children the joy of Christmas, birthdays and not to mention blood transfusions even in life threatening situations.

- I have been reading about their movement, and there is so much more I disagree with, in fact I am shaking my head just reading about what they believe in, just as there are facts about my faith that others may find surprising. But everyone has the right to follow whatever religion they choose without pressure to change. And that is how I feel when these people talk to me.

I feel upset writing this, and somewhat disturbed but things need to be said, and if I can't let go here, I may as well give up. The next time I meet with Jehovahs Witness followers, I will be armed with more knowledge and I won't let myself be made to feel not worthy. Which is how I felt today.

Never thought I'd say I love Hannah Montana

Miss D's little friend invited her on a movie date to see Hannah Montana-The Movie. So we went along with every other tween in the city. Her friends mum didn't stay for the movie, but as I am an overbearing, neurotic, worrysome mum, and since she is only 8 years old, I decided to stay. And sit through Hannah Montana.

As we lined up, I was told not to walk with them or sit with them. My daughter didn't want to be "associated" with her mother. Another mum burst out laughing and said "wait til they are twelve, they will want you to just drop them off". So we walked in, with me several paces behind.

Once in the cinema, I "had" to sit in the row behind the girls. I smiled at how grown up they were being. The cinema was hardly full, in fact there were rows and rows of seats vacant. Now you know what I am going to say now. Yes it happened. Remember my previous post about how anal I am when it comes to my cinema experience, and how it pisses me off when someone sits next to me?

Well, in a cinema full of empty seats, this woman and her two daughters come in - late - and *smirk* sit in my row. NOT ONLY IN MY ROW but in the friggin seats next to me! WTF we were sharing an arm rest, with 60 vacant seats STILL VACANT. Do I attract these people?? Do I smell good or something? Why are these people invading my personal space?

So I said to the mother "I am waiting for someone" and she moved. One seat up. That's all I'm gonna get. So I settled down to sit through what I thought would be a chore, but you know what? I totally enjoyed the movie! Lots of country music, a wholesome story, a cute cowboy as a love interest, which reminds me when he first came on screen on his horse, the teenage girls behind me yelled out "well helloooo...." Totally funny stuff.

So I have come to appreciate Hannah Montana because of the following:

- Miley Cyrus has the best teeth I have ever seen
- Rascal Flatts sang in the movie
- there was lots of great country music, and cowboy hats and horses
- Billy Ray Cyrus has still got it. Yes, I'm a mullet lover.
- my girl loved the movie and if she's happy, then I'm happy
- she now has something else to obsess about
- I have heaps of ideas for Christmas and Birthday gifts for her, as long as it has to do with Hannah Montana
- the movie made me feel young again
- it also made me want to pick up my guitar

It also made me think of what it will be like when my eldest daughter turns 12. Or 13. How grown up she will be and how many wonderful experiences await her. She is hanging out already to go to the movies or shopping by herself, to have girls nights out (god forbid) and I suppose to meet that special boy. It's natural but scary for me as a mother that she is growing up so fast. But at the same time, I am so excited for her. The world awaits...

Bad cinema experience

My friends will tell you how particular, pedantic and slightly obsessive compulsive I am about my cinema experience. You see, one of my favourite things to do is go and watch a movie on the big screen. I love it.

And I love our blockbuster season when all the big gun movies come out.

So I was slightly annoyed and mildly irritated that this evenings cinema experience has been a bit of a let down. I will explain.

I have been waiting to see the new Transformers movie and planned to see it tonight at 6.30pm. I rang the cinema around 4pm to confirm the time, only to be told it had been sold out. Big letdown number 1. The only other movie that interested me was The Proposal, so I decided to see that.

The cinema had about 10 other people in, so I took my usual seat, which is in the middle, two seats in from the right. I like that seat. I spread all my gear out, like I always do, my softdrink on one side and my water on the other. My bag on the seat next to me and my coat on the other. See, I am OCD about this, and my friends know it, but damnit, that's the way I like it.

So bugger me if a couple doesn't come in and sit DIRECTLY behind me. And start opening their crinkly, crackly bags of food right in my ear. When there are 50 other seats vacant. Big letdown number 2. I thought about moving across the isle, but I like this seat. So I put up with it.

Big letdown number 3 was when this big loud grinding sound started coming from the screen, it seemed, so much so that I could hardly hear what the actors were saying. This went on for about 1 hour, and as the movie wasn't really my cup of tea, I just let it go. Then the lights came on, the movie stopped and we sat there like stunned birds in the light.

The movie came back on, sans noise and it was uneventful til the finish. I felt really ripped off, paying $14.00 for a crap movie, one that I couldn't hear and with interuptions, so I marched up to the counter to ask for a refund or a free ticket because for $14.00 I expect a bit better service. And I can be a bitch about things like this.

At this time the next viewing of Transformers was just about to start, so every teenager from a 20 km radius was here, so the assistant asked me to wait by the other counter til he was free. One assistant for the busiest time of the night. Where's the rest of the friggin staff?

I waited for 10 minutes then left as it would be another half an hour before he would be free. And who knows if I would even get a refund. So I drove home, feeling ripped off, unsatisfied and annoyed that my cinema experience was crap.

A day to remember

It has been a strange day today. Good and not so good things have happened so I want to address my day in point form, because it's easier to digest.

- we woke up late and subsequently were nearly late for school, but as this is the last day of school before holidays, I don't particularly care.

- bought some groceries and threw them in the car on the way to the doctor to check on Miss T's atrocious cough.

- waited at the doctors for ONE HOUR before we went in. What the hell is the point of making an appointment when you never get in on time? I mean, how do they fall so far behind FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

- saw 7 kangaroos in the paddock. What a treat!

- visited our draftsman about our plans, ready for a fight and hoo haa they are nearly finished and we are to collect them on Wednesday! With our account! That we probably won't want to look at, but who cares, if our house plans are in my hot little hands I will dance a samba. Then the serious stuff will start...

- home for lunch, dvd and lie down (me) then back to school, grabbed kids, deposited two kids at Poppys while I took Miss D to Jazz. Open week this week so I stayed and watched. Great stuff Miss D, you rock!

- collected the kids from Poppys and drove home. On the outskirts of town, the temperature in our four wheel drive skyrocketed so I stopped in the dark and the rain. With 3 tired, hungry and irritable kids. The hubbster was at work, so we rang Nanny who came out, we drove her back into town and then drove BACK home in her car, arriving after 7pm.

Even though we live in our shed, I was so glad to get home. And guzzle a wine...

- got to bed around 10pm, and woke around 3am with sharp stomach pains and a need to get to the bathroom. Through the rain (as the bathroom is about 10 steps from the shed) I ran in and threw up the contents of my chicken dinner. Just to remind me that I left the groceries in the car, while we waited to see the doctor. Big Mistake. Food poisoning is so overrated.

- got back to bed and Miss D started her nightly coughing, so I was back up getting medicine for her, hoping like hell the other two kids didn't wake up.

It was a day of mixed blessings, as Miss T didn't need any hard stuff for her cough, and I just need to explain to anyone waiting in line at the supermarket who cringe when she coughs that "no she doesn't have swine flu, so you don't need to move away, she just has a cough".

And I must say that the hunky doctor is still hunky and not once did I imagine what he would look like soaking wet emerging from a pool, with his hair slicked back. Nope. Not once....

Stupid winter

I'm feeling a bit off today. I don't think it's PMS time, I must check the calendar about that. I don't really know why I feel like this. Possibly because:-

1 it's cold and windy outside which is making me feel lethargic
2 it's winter. I hate winter because of the above
3 I have a stupid head cold, so I feel a bit ditzy
4 I have heaps of little things to do but don't feel like doing anything
5 It's my child free day and I am pissed off that I feel like this
6 My time management skills suck

S'pose I better get off my arse and do something. Maybe I will make some muffins for the kids. Or sit at the computer all day. Now, there's a thought.....

(Yep. Just checked my calendar and I'm on cycle day 27. I should have known. In celebration of finding out why I am in this shitty mood, I have just eaten three toasted sandwiches for lunch. My hips can thank me later.)

Customer service

The scene is in our local music shop, part of a well known group.

me: excuse me, do you have "The Definitive Series" by The Easybeats?

her: umm who?

me: The Easybeats "The Definitive Series"

her: I don't know who they are

me: (looks at her as if she's from another planet)
me: are you kidding me?

her: I've never heard of them

me: The Easybeats the greatest Australian rock and roll band of the 1960s?

me: you work in a music shop and you have NEVER heard of them?

her: well, they are a long way before my time

me: honey, thats beside the point. You need to get another job.

This was a perfect example of one of my pet hates, sucky customer service. How can someone working in a music shop not know of The Easybeats? Didn't she have any training?

Bad customer service irritates me. I've had my share:-

1) I hate when I walk to the shop counter and the assistant (once she finishes her telephone call) looks up and says "Are you right?" WTF am I standing here for, you fucking moron. I really hate those three words.

2) People trying to sell me faulty products. A sales assistant once tried to sell me a digital camera. With a cracked screen. For full price. He didn't get the sale.

3) Sales assistants who barely look up when asked a question. It's as if I am ruining their already mundane day by asking if they have Dora the Explorer pyjamas in size 6.

Don't get me wrong, there is great customer service too. We have the best newsagent here where I live. Everytime I walk in, the staff make such a fuss over me and my kids that it's a pleasure to go newpaper shopping. They fawn over my daughter, she runs to them to show off her hair and it's all good. And the fish and chip shop is awesome too. Besides making great food, they are always friendly, even on a Friday night when the stress levels peak. That's called being professional. That's great customer service...

I'm a friggin Catholic..

So we have had a day of slackness here. The hubbster and Mr C have gone for the day, so it's me and the girls. We wrestled in bed til 9am, did some washing, watched dvds and pretty much nothing else. So what happens? WE GET VISITORS.

When we lived in town, we had this lovely lady who used to call around with religious pamphlets and a new bible quote each time. The problem is, I am catholic, she isn't. She's something else and at first as I am such a nice person (!) I couldn't say no and took the pamphlets and let her read her passage, but never invited her and her minions in.

The hubbster kept saying, tell her you're not interested, but she is so nice and I couldn't say no. So periodically she would call around, hand me the stuff, I would make an excuse about the phone ringing or lunch cooking and the visit would be short. When we moved out of town, guess what? SHE'S FOLLOWED ME HERE. I didn't even give her exact directions but she's bloody found me! And I'm not happy about it.

I thought I could let her down gently by saying "well, we are moving, nice knowing you, take care" but she pushed for where we were going so I was a bit cagey. A month ago, her followers came out, I took the pamphlets, cut it short and sent them on their way. So back to today. Our day of slackness. Here I am, I hadn't showered as yet, still wearing the same tshirt sans bra that I slept in. And they rock up! And our toasted sandwiches were ready.

This was my chance. She went to hand me the pamphlets and I said:-

"look, I appreciate you coming out, but I am a catholic and am moving back towards that right now. I don't want to waste your time, so don't worry about dropping any more pamphlets out". Did she get the hint? I think she was a bit pissed off, but she read me a bible passage (what the fuck did I just say?) and asked if I minded if she called past once in a while to say "HI". And also that there are workshops I can do to figure out my religious intentions. And I should have said:-

"don't come back. I am not interested. I have never been interested. It's just that you are such a nice lady, I couldn't hurt your feelings. I'm friggin Catholic." but instead I said:-

"yeah, that's fine". Fuck. I really hope she has the hint now and doesn't come back, because I don't want to be blunt and insult her. Remember she is so nice and I totally appreciate that each has their own religion, and this has blown way out of proportion because I didn't say no in the first place.

Frustrated.

I thought it was about time for some house, housekeeping as I haven't really written alot about what is going on here with the faceless house. This could be monotonous and boring, so if I lose some of you on this post, grab a coffee or a wine or some pringles, settle in and suffer with me.

So at present we still look like this:-

When the light at the end of the tunnel should look something along the lines of this:-

As each day passes I get all the more frustrated, pissed off and skeptical that we will ever finish, no I stand corrected, start this friggin house. Nearly 8 months and nothing is done. The plans are currently with the engineer, being "engineered" or whatever the hell they do. I rang him today and he has our plans on his desk, and will hopefully get to them next week. Once he decides that is it actually do-able, that the changes we have made to the floor plan will connect with the build that has already been done, he will let our draftsman know, who will hopefully draw up the finalised plans.

The builder is waiting to get these plans, to quote us. We are still weeks away from even getting to this point, let alone seeing anything physically being done. We were really hoping to have something started by winter, and hello it's winter and jack shit has been done. Everything seems to be taking forever, I feel like we are at a standstill, and time is ticking away because we need to build to lockup during winter, because I am NOT living in this fucking shed for another 12 months. If we don't build to lockup this winter, that is what will happen.

By Christmas we are hoping to have one or two rooms, possibly completed, but even that seems a long way off. I don't expect it all to be done, but a start would be good. Something fucking happen! I can only take so much of living like a neverending bad camping trip before I gouge my eyes out with a stick through utter despair (it's really not that bad but I would like to live in a house again before the kids grow up and move out).

I want to unpack my things and decorate my house and watch dvds in my theatre room. I want patience, someone grant me some before I scream in frustration! I want to plant a garden and not worry about having to move it when we finish the house. I need to stop swearing. I need a punching bag to vent my frustrations out on. I need a stress ball. I just need my house...

Happy Birthday to Me...

Hi. I'm Michelle. It's my birthday. Besides a cold sore, a throat infection and coughing up a lung, life's just peachy.

Yes I have another notch on my belt, another year down, or another feather in my cap. Or whatever. What's the deal with birthdays anyway? What do people ACTUALLY do on their birthday?

Does the 20 something young thing put on her glitziest dress and her best heels and go on up to the rooftop party in a building in a great big city, where all her friends have gathered in her honour? Her hair is, of course, fabulous, she sips ladylike from a long fluted champagne glass and all attention is on her? whilst the citylights twinkle in the background? Is this what people really do?

I have had some great birthdays. Last year we had dinner at home with all our family, the kids had a cake for me and I met my guitar for the first time. The year before was the big 4 0, so my fabulous friends took me out for dinner and it was special and wonderful, after spending the day with my family. This year it's a bit different. I am sick, my son and mother in law are sick, the hubbster is working, so we are officially putting off dinner and cake til next week, and as he said "just pretend your birthday is next week so we can celebrate then".

But it's today. The good things about today are spending it with my kids and hubby, and receiving good wishes from my important friends in the real world and in cyberspace, who mean alot to me. But besides that, today has been a little less ordinary. And this is why:-

My son is sick too but desperately wanted to still play football so we drove in to town, only to have him run on once then sit out for the rest of the game. We just should have stayed at home. We were expecting some people to arrive at 11am to look at our car for sale, so instead of doing all the little jobs I wanted to do in town, we flew home with nothing done, arriving by 11am. The people came after lunch. And the best part of the day in a bad kinda way is as follows:-

me: takes 2 overdue dvds back to shop

smarmy girl: these are a week late

me: yes I know, I have been sick in bed since the weekend and totally forgot about them. There should be some overdue fees I owe.

smarmy girl: Yep, you owe $64.00 in overdue fees.

me: looks at her and says goddammotherfucking fuck fuck fucking what

me: (no, I really say) are you kidding me?

smarmy girl: nope. $64.00

me: thinks, stop smiling or I'll jump the counter and give you sixty four dollars worth....

me: pays $30.00 and walks out in disgust

The part of my brain that registers overdue library books and overnight only on dvds sometimes OBVIOUSLY doesn't work. It's my fault, I know but this nearly made me cry. What a waste of money. I have decided to go in on Monday and sweet talk the manager and explain what has happened and see if she will waive the outstanding money. I will also ask if they have procedures in place to ring stupid people like me who don't return library books or dvds on time. I rang 3 shops in town and they all give a courtesy phonecall or text if new releases are late. That will be my trump card. Wouldn't you think that someone in the shop would have noticed that not one but two new release dvds were outstanding for a number of days, oh hang on, they are kids movies. Maybe that doesn't count.

If she makes me pay the outstanding money, I am going to cut up my membership card there and then, throw it on the floor, jump around on it and have a mini tantrum, because sometimes people just have to give a little....

Time to get tough

Lately our mornings have been the result of our evenings. Because of slackness on my part, each morning resembles a chaotic, jumbled mess.

Because we are not sticking to a routine during the late afternoon/early evening, and boy do I love routines, our mornings are chaotic because of what we don't do the night before. I mean, doing homework in the car ON the way to school, is so not on.

It's known across the world as arsenic hour, c'mon ladies you KNOW what I am talking about. Men, read on, you may learn something. It's that sometimes horrific, sometimes mindshattering time of day usually between the hours of 4pm and 6pm. Something happens in the cosmos that sends even the best tempered kids into a chaotic frenzy and their stressed mothers (moi) into the wine bottle.


Dad may not be home from work at that time, the kids are hungry and tired, mum is hungry and tired, everyone is whinging, someone is yelling, tempers are fraying and so it is. I think it was a term coined for the under 3's set, but I can tell you, we still get it here in the under 8's.

Is this a universal thing, I would love to hear some feedback. Some days are fine, don't get me wrong. The kids may run around and play and be jolly, but that's not common. I am digressing here, but this is the reason why we need a routine, to keep the little beggars in line and farmerswife still sober at 6pm.

It is just a little easier now that my kids are a bit older. I had a 4 yr old, a crazy 2 yr old and a newborn. I often wondered how I coped. They were all bathed and fed by 6pm, even during arsenic hour, so maybe I did okay after all. They were a bit easier to wrangle back then of course. One couldn't walk, so that's always a bonus!

I have decided that I will perk up my afternoon routine, and this is what it will be:-

4.00pm kids playing outside quietly, tennis or totum tennis, bike riding, running around, using energy

4.30pm farmerswife watching Bold and the Beautiful, kids still playing beautifully.

5.00pm farmerswife gets dinner ready, kids still playing (rolls my eyes, yeah right)

5.30pm showers all round

6.00pm dinner is served. Simpsons is on, whatdoyaexpect, we are not perfect!

6.30pm Miss T gets ready for stories and bed, and older kids do their homework.

7.15pm toilet and teeth done before bed for older kids

7.30pm KIDS IN BED Miss D can read til 8.00pm, Mr C can just go to sleep.

7.30pm Farmerswife plonks on the lounge with a wine and her boyfriend (the television).

(be advised that The Hubbster is very accomodating during the crazy time, he usually puts Miss T to bed after stories, and entertains them all if I am busy. Bless him..)

Umm, whilst writing this post, Miss T (aged 4) painted her fingernails and toenails by herself, so I've added another thing.

NO computer for farmerswife between 4.00pm and 6.00pm.

Night from Hell, so what's new.

I had a night from hell last night. Mothers will know these nights by how wrecked they feel in the morning. It all started off fine but soon disolved into crap. Utter crap. It went a bit like this:-

We put Miss T (aged 4) to bed at her usual time of 7.30pm, and my son and I layed on the lounge and watched some uninteresting show on tv. Soon we were both asleep by 8pm. It's time for an early night, farmerswife thinks. (as I am a nightowl, 8.45pm is an extremely early night).

Everyone else was asleep as I slid deliciously into my cosy king sized bed, which cost us $2500 (crazy price at the time) but is worth every cent and more. I drifted off into a calm deep sleep until I woke at 11.30pm with the mother of all migraine headaches, enough to glue my head to the pillow (where TF did that come from?).

On my left was the hubbster, sound asleep and snoring like a freight train (he finds this hilariously funny when I say this, I just want to punch him out) right in my ear. And on my left, in the kids section of the bedroom, as we are all sharing because we don't have a house (yet) was Miss T crying, twitching, kicking her blankets off, snorting and sniffling.

Every time the hubbster has to work early, it's either a kid wakes up and plays up or the dog moans, barks and kicks her dish around, waking him in the process which is not good. I tried to calm down Miss T, but she wouldn't have it. No, to mummy lay down with you. No, to mummy fix your blankets up.

I finally settled her, and resumed my horizontal position and waited for the codeine to kick in. An hour later we repeated the process, with mummy trying to stay calm, which got harder as the night progressed. Finally after about 8 rounds of this, I felt like saying to her "Go to sleep or I'll put you in the friggin tennis court" but instead I said "Go to sleep and I'll buy you a chocolate tommorrow".

This worked and 10 minutes later, the hubbster woke to go to work, and Miss T went into a deep sleep. Guess who wouldn't get out of bed later on because she was tired. Hmm.

We were both so tired today, that we climbed into bed at 11am, I scratched her back and she was out to it. As was I.

While she was sleeping, I decided to make my lunch. I made this.

Then I whipped up some of these little beauties for the kids afternoon tea.

More choc bits Farmerswife!!

Cuppa tea anyone???

Sucky Friday

I'm having a suck hole day today. The guineas are off in the bush somewhere, and they will not come back, although the little crappers know how to fly. They are just doing it to piss me today.

We still haven't got our house plans finalised. The hubbster was going in to sort it out with all guns blazing and instead came out with folders to do with skylights (WTF).

And Mr C (aged 6) who had his hair cut and should now be listening, is having a few behaviour issues and I think it's to do with attention. He needs it and obviously is not getting enough (now I feel like a suck hole parent).

Last night, I played handball with him, and his sister got in the way, prompting him to yell "Get out of the friggin way" (farmerswife makes a mental note to stop swearing). Then he did something else obnoxious, so I took him to his money box and said "Right Mister, this is what you lose", and you know what he said:-

"I lose the greatest weight loss percentage!" (another mental note, Mr C watches too much reality tv - The Biggest Loser obviously). Apart from this being really funny and clever, it's not how I want him to talk to me.

It's to do with his lack of one on one attention, I am sure of it. He is such a good boy, he is good at school, there's no issue there. Well maybe that's where it is coming from too. I need to address this NOW. I'll sort it out. My little man.

I've had my cuppa tea and don't feel so nutty now. I just had a frustrated cry in the car about this faceless house. The dream of actually building it doesn't seem so far away, as it did 20 minutes ago.

Stupid people

*Warning - a bit more than usual swearing/or foul language (aren't they one and the same?) in the following post. Parental guidance advised.*

I was reading the paper the other day, how DO i find the time, and I came across this SMS:- (word for word)

**Witnessed a homeless man purchasing a flanno shirt 4 the cool nights in a shop and the workers were laughing and spraying air freshner. To the workers, sewrage smells better than your compassion.**

Kudos to the author for noticing this piece of work, and daggers in the back to the bitches - and I say bitches because men just don't act like this. Why the hell do these people think they can treat others with such contempt and a lack of compassion? This behaviour infuriates me so much that I'm getting a headache.

What do these smartarses really know about this man? NOTHING. He may have a family, or he may be alone. He might have had a good life and turned the corner into the life he now leads. He could have been someone important, or he could have been no one. Do they really care?

Is it human nature to laugh at others less fortunate? To these people, I suppose it is, but for me, it's not. I always have a hard time when I see homeless people, or someone who is struggling. I pity them, I don't make fun of them. I wonder when these workers were in school, did they tease the kids who were a bit different, I remember at school some kids went through hell at the hands of idiots like this.

In the big scheme of things, I suppose this incident doesn't really matter, BUT imagine how that man felt? Degraded. Alone. Humiliated. I hope this man finds some sort of peace in his life, and these women (and I am only assuming it WAS women) realise how fucked up they are. Fuck you.